The rotten ones on family tree

There’s one intriguing thing about my Heidi’s Facebook: it now and again features photographs of forgotten family and friends taken many moons ago. Yes, forgotten is the key word.

How can family be lost in the memory bank? Friends, yes, it happens after long periods without contact, but surely not members of one’s ancestry? At three in the morning the answer to this unforgivable phenomenon (to family traditionalists, that is) came to me.

Incidents of yesteryear with the “forgotten” came rushing in. No real names, in case they come back to haunt me.

Oom Toy was a nasty man, always putting my dad down for his politics.

See, Oom was seriously verkramp and wouldn’t accept my dad’s belief that all races deserved a place in the sun.

The heated arguments inevitably ended with my dad shoving Oom out the door, telling him to disappear until his brain functions. And Oom screaming ugly expletives as he stumbles down the stoep steps. It left Mom Maggie fuming.

Then there was Aunty Poison Poppie who reckoned she was the only one with breeding and looked down on us for living in what she called a pondok.

But when my dad passed away, she was quick to seize portraits from the pondok’s walls, claiming provenance. It left Mom Maggie in tears.

I’m reminded of my dad’s words: “Watch out for the encircling vultures at your death bed.”

Uncle Sebastian was another unwholesome character. He was one for the girls – the fact he was pushing 70 was irrelevant – and insisted on wet-kissing them hello and goodbye. His handshake with the men was also wet and floppy. It left Mom Maggie with a look of disgust.

There were others who were vrot growths on the family tree but luckily for you, space won’t allow persuance. In any case, now they’re all just rotting leaves. Or purposeless spirits?

How’s this for a tempting thought? If it were possible to have a family reunion of the forgotten, my intro as MC would go something like this: “I’m here to talk about our family, but Mom Maggie always taught me if I don’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. Good day.”

Hey, just maybe, I’ve been the nasty one all along.