Sparing rod doesn’t spoil the child

Somewhere in South Africa, a little boy or girl is getting a hiding at home. Their offence may be minor or major but whatever the case, a hand or a bottom will burn with pain today.

I’m fortunate to have grown up in a home where violence didn’t feature prominently.

However, when it happened it was traumatic.

Like salt to an open wound, so are the days of our violent lives.

A thin twig from the peach tree in the backyard; a wet dishcloth long accustomed to occasional fly-swatting; a leather belt; or a shoe, were weapons of choice in my home.

Growing up, my anger and trauma of a beating at home stemmed from the beating being dished out in anger.

In that instance, my arms and legs were fair game. Nonetheless, I consider myself lucky that for the most part, my mother was a modernist who opted to reason with us children through conversation and engagement, opening up our eyes to our missteps, as opposed to using socalled weapons of parental affection.

Parents today can raise upstanding children without ever having to raise a hand to them. Just saying.

Johannesburg

Sandile Ntuli, Send us your letter

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