Here’s a tale of two terriers

A JACK RUSSELL AND THE FIAT ABARTH HAVE THE SAME DYNAMIC TEMPERAMENT Fearless Italian job will not stand back for anything.

My friend Wendy has a Jack Russell terrier: It’s a cute, energetic bundle which begs to be patted and cuddled and which will jump into your lap at the mere hint of an invitation. She (the dog, that is), will also sit up on her hind legs and beg, with that amazing blend of balance and strength these pint-sized dynamos possess.

There is also a sense of fearlessness about her: she’ll tackle dogs many times her size and even go for humans if they annoy her or look as though they will threaten the security of the home.

So, what’s not to love about a Jack Russell? Well, for a start, Wendy’s dog doesn’t like cats and can cause near heart failure when it suddenly leaps after one, intent on mischief. Secondly, although her dog is more mature, many is the tale told by owners of Jack Russell puppies of the huge destruction wrought to gardens, pot plants, shoes and socks by the little terrors. Canine-on-crack sums it up. Fiat’s Abarth 595 is just like a Jack Russell. Take a look at the picture. Is that not the cutest little car you’ve ever seen? Does it not look, with its Abarth badges and sexy body kit, like it could take out hot hatches many times its price?

It’s based on Fiat’s 500, the retro-inspired small car which pays homage to the original Fiat 500, a tiny little, two-cylinder, 500cc-engined car which helped get Italians mobile again in the late 50s and early 60s. The 595 is, likewise, a nod to the high-spirited Abarth sport-racers which were hotted up versions of the standard little Fiats.

So, like the Abarths of yore, it punches well above its weight. With Fiat’s reliable 1.4 litre turbopetrol engine, pushing out 132kW in the “Competitizione” model we drove (there are less powerful, 106kW, and 121kW versions), it is a real flyer. It will hit 100km/h in under seven seconds, even at Gauteng altitude and push on to well over 200km/h.

It goes around corners like it is on the proverbial rails, thanks to the fact that it is virtually a “wheel at each corner” car. When you do push it into a corner the nose tracks as eagerly as a Jack Russell chasing a ball. It stops well, too, thanks to disc brakes all round. Steering is precise and the gearchange is a direct, mechanical delight.

Inside, it looks the part, too. Racing bucket seats, full instruments (including a separate, stick-up rev counter), aluminium pedals with the scorpion logo of Abarth embossed into them and a swathe of bare metal for the dash…everything you’d expect in a hot hatch.

So, what’s not to like about the Abarth 595?

Well, it certainly does have its negative Jack Russell side.

OK, it will not bite you in the bum but, even if it did, you probably wouldn’t notice because your buttocks would long since have gone numb, thanks to the pounding from the stiff suspension and low-profile tyres. (To be fair, this is all emphasised in the Competitizione, because it has the stiffest suspension and the lowest profile tyres.)

Then, it’s not cheap (as is a Jack Russell when it starts destroying your property). The lowest-powered version starts at R300 000, while the top version goes for R443 000. If you want an open top, add R40k to those prices.

And then cute certainly is not compatible with practical.

The car has back seats but it is very cramped, to be kind. And don’t even think of getting more than a loaf of bread and a packet of milk in the boot. Driving the more powerful version can also be tiring because it always feels that you’ve put a lead and collar on it when you’re driving around town (just like its doggie cousin).

So, you shouldn’t buy one, right? Correct. You shouldn’t gonear a Jack Russell either, if you want a peaceful life.

But do you really want a peaceful life … or would you rather smile a lot?