Now coach Rassie will know who not to pick
The large man with the large infectious grin – and if you excuse the pun, roundly known as the Thorny One for his intractable attitude – was having a three-cornered debate with Mike the Mechanic and the arithmetically challenged golfer.
This, it was common cause among the assembled company, could get interesting; the self-proclaimed expertise of the arithmetically challenged one, the serious demeanour of the Mechanic, who takes every reverse in South African sport as a personal slight, and the Thorny One’s devil-maycare attitude – to life in general and his haphazard application of this to what many consider sub- jects of an intensely serious nature – was an admix of diverse and potentially explosive proportions.
It was the Mechanic who, taking time from brewing some potentially lethal Bloody Marys, pronounced his verdict on the hurt engendered within him by the Springboks losing to Wales at the unlikely venue of Washington DC.
“Pathetic,” he said, “simply pathetic. I know it was an inexperienced and untested combination, but that starting line-up had very little going for it except the aggression of Andre Esterhuizen at centre, the wise head of captain Pieter-Steph du Toit at lock and a rousing second-half from Kwagga Smith, proving that it is the size of the fight in the dog that counts, when he came back from concussion testing. The run-on front row did nothing to convince the Welsh that they carried anything but the numbers on their backs and it wasn’t until Thomas du Toit, Akker van der Merwe and Steven Kitshoff replaced them that things settled down. Then there was the aimless box kicks from Ivan van Zyl and from Elton Jantjies at flyhalf – at least he didn’t have two consecutive kicks charged down like substitute Robert du Preez did. It was pathetic.”
It was clear the arithmetically challenged one shared these sentiments in a general sense, but was more concerned with his own specifics. “When?” he asked rhetorically, “will the idea sink in that it is all well and good having all the flashy skill in the world with the ball in hand going forward, but it all comes to nothing if there is no defence to back it up. The Springbok tackling was, in a word, shameful. Surely, we have been beaten enough times by New Zealand sides to understand that to play at top level you have to tackle, tackle, tackle before you even think about opening the game up.”
The Thorny One took all this in and nodded sagely. “Well,” he said in philosophical mood, “at least Rassie Erasmus knows who not to pick in the first Test against England at Ellis Park on Saturday. Surely, that is an improvement ... even if we all look foolish in American eyes.”
It was a comment that went down with all the aplomb of a lead balloon. The Thorny One couldn’t have cared less about the reaction. His beaming grin was proof positive of that.