The Scot was right, this lad can swing a club

The game of golf has been a central pillar in the life of the Incomprehensible Scot for a large slice of what can only be described as a varied and colourful life which eventually led him to settling in softer climes than his native land in the warm African sunshine.

He understands the deeper nuances of the game on a first-hand level, having played many of the major courses in Scotland including the sport’s Holy Grail, the venerable Old Course at St Andrews – and shakes his head, recalling: “I dinna brek a hunnert and lost a dozin goff balls” – and held a more respectable handicap than that cryptic comment would suggest.

“Tha thin aboot tha goff,” he started out as the Open de France reached into the final loop of the the Albatros course at Le Golf National southwest of Paris, “is tha it allus come doon tae the last nine holes”.

This might be a well-worn truism pertaining to any professional tournament, but particularly apposite at the 6 703 m, par-72 Albatros layout where the Open has been played every year bar 1999 and 2001 since it opened in 1990.

The treacherous finishing four holes, ominously named the Loop of Death, was to be the unremitting decider as the poker-faced young Swede Marcus Kinhult led by two shots – he was to stretch this to four at one stage during the final round – from England’s Chris Wood, with Spaniards Sergio Garcia and John Rahm, and the American duo Julian Suri and world No 2 Justin Thomas still strongly in the mix.

“Dinna forgit tha’ Swede Alex Noren,” said the Incomprehensible One, casting his eye rapidly down the leaderboard and picking out the 35-year-old from Stockholm, who loitered seven shots off the pace, “tha’ lad can plae”.

And sure enough, the Scotsman’s earlier prediction proved that as much as things may change in golf – “I canna git a putter tae wirk fir me,” he said naming the enormous amounts he has spent on space age inventions intended to flatten out the greens – the more they manage somehow to stay the same. “Kinhult willna hold it taegether. His heid’s gone.”

This too was to prove prophetic, though it was Rahm who cracked first, hacking and then slashing his way through the high rough to finally record a triple-bogey seven on the par-four 12th.

The carnage was to continue unabated. Wood dropped shots on the 15th and 17th.

Suri was three over for the last four, including a disappointing double-bogey six on the 18th where his approach found the water short of the green.

Thomas was happy enough with a week in which he broke or equalled par on all four days.

But it was the surging Noren who was even happier, ending the last four holes two-under-par and recording a one-shot victory over Suri, Wood and Scotsman Russell Knox.

“Aye,” said the Incomprehensible One, “tha’ lad can plae”.