Bokkie Trokkie is astonishing

COMMEMORATIVE: SPRINGBOK RANGE ROVER SPORT SVR HAS LOTS OF GLORIOUS TOUCHES

It must lead victory bus cavalcade when Siya and the boys return with the trophy.

When I looked at the gloriously over-the-top special-edition Springbok Range Rover Sport SVR hunkering below my carport (it wouldn’t fit in the garage), two words sprang to mind: Siya Kolisi.

The Springbok captain has a powerful menace about him; you know he has what it takes to get it done. But, somehow (and I may be completely wrong on this), he doesn’t come across as elegant or loaded with finesse.

Of course, that is what one sees from the outside. And certainly, the software seems to be there to match the hardware or he wouldn’t have been such a good, and respected, leader.

So it is with the massive, muscular Range Rover Sport SVR.

It’s brutal. It is built like a tank and looks as though nothing would stop it. But subtle it is not. Finesse? Not when you look at it from the outside. This is no shrinking violet.

So I was surprised to find out that Kolisi is actually an ambassador for the Land Rover brand (the parent to Landies and Range Rovers, as well as part of the Jaguar Land Rover group). But it’s a logical partnership.

This special-edition vehicle was the brainchild of Land Rover South Africa and executed by the company’s special operations organisation (SVO) in the UK to a very specific brief.

It was conceived as a mobile billboard (and very effective it is) and to showcase the premium service offered by SVO.

So, if a standard Range Rover Sport SVR – at a list price of R2.3 million – is not enough for you, you can customise it from a range of high-end options.

The lustrous paint shades make you start drooling, just listening to their names: Balmoral blue, spectral racing red, desire deep red, Mescalito black and Bosphorus grey…

Judging by the appearance of the Springbok RR Sport (in British racing green, “brought to life with contemporary sparkling Xirallic metallic finish”), they do a damn fine job.

It is done by hand, by the way. And, if you have to ask the price, you can’t afford it. You won’t get any inkling, either, from the local Land Rover website.

However, I have no doubt there will be enough customers who will go for something like this… Nothing says success like “SVO”.

The commemorative vehicle has lots of nice touches. There are Springbok logos and the word itself in strategic places in and on the car. The interior lighting is green; the paddle shift gear levers are gold.

It’s easy, in the hype about the Boks and the World Cup, to lose site of the intrinsics of what is an astonishing car.

Powered by a 5.0-litre supercharged V8 engine that thumps out 423kW, this is what Land Rover calls “the fastest Land Rover ever”. Except, people, “ever” is a long time and, even though this SVR has been around about four years now, no doubt someone in the organisation will, one day, build something faster. It’s the inevitable way of the world.

Official figures say it will get to 100km/h in 4.5 seconds, which is not far off supercar quick.

In that vein, last year, a RR Sport SVR blitzed the 99 corners of the famous Tianmen Road in China, knocking an unbelievable 40 sec off the previous record, set by a Ferrari 458 Italia.

To emphasise the point, Land Rover South Africa went out and set a South African land-speed record for SUVs with the car.

So, it’s a supercar you can also drive straight up a muddy mountainside.

That’s because it comes with the usual Land Rover off-road bits which are, even its rivals admit, the benchmark for 4x4s.

It’s a pity you don’t see more of these vehicles clambering over rocks and splashing through streams.

Mind you, fixing the scratches in the Bosphorus grey paint scheme would probably be the same as a middle-level hatchback right off the showroom floor…

In the city, putting your foot down feels like a unique form of craziness – mainly because you only have mere seconds to enjoy the shove before you’re up close and personal with the car tailpipe in front of you. It delivers a vicious growl while it’s at it, too.

Surprisingly, although it is massive, it’s not intimidating to drive, whether you’re dawdling or looking for 458 Italias to slaughter.

Also, if you went the whole way, you’re not going to be at all fussed by the fact that in town, you could get three Suzuki Swifts across 100km using the same amount of unleaded.

Do I wish to own a car like this? Not at all.

But then, I never was in the Siya Kolisi league at most things.

But I do have one wish for this “Bokkie Trokkie”, as my motoring colleagues have dubbed it … that it leads the open-top bus cavalcade when Siya and the boys return with the trophy.