The Citizen (KZN)

Have woke Valentine’s Day

- SIBUSISO MKWANAZI

Being a month away from turning 41 makes me feel like a Neandertha­l. Everywhere I turn things are being done differentl­y and I just do not get it.

Today is meant to be the most romantic 24 hours of the year, but Valentine’s Day has now been linked to mental health topics.

Corporates, human resource specialist­s and therapists must have all attended a retreat and agreed the gathering would be deemed a success when headlines such as “How to have an Inclusive Valentine’s Day at work”, “Valentine’s Day blues are real” and “Is Valentine’s Day bad for your health?” make the rounds.

Surely there are countless years when most of us did not receive a Valentine’s gift and that did not bother us at all?

Mind you, it takes a lot not to be shaken by Cupid dropping off diamond encrusted earrings or limited-edition cars at work for colleagues, while you are having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch.

I am from a bygone era when we were happy for those who received a token of love from their significan­t other and we made fun of the rest, who clearly chose broke lovers. I would like to think that there was no menace intended in this jest, but it is possible that my generation was a bit insensitiv­e.

As much as I just do not understand, I still take my hat off to the younger ones who have published entire research papers about the potential harms publicly celebratin­g the god of love’s day can inflict on other humans. They continue to protect their mental health space by ensuring their voices are heard at their workplaces and in other parts of life.

Their collective efforts have resulted in some employers not allowing Valentine’s gifts to be delivered at work and people like me are learning that the day is indeed a sad one for a large part of the population.

This includes those who have lost loved ones, those hurt by affection that is not reciprocat­ed and those who are broke, thanks to tough economic times.

In 700 BC, when the Greek love goddess, Venus, and the god of war, Mars, had Cupid, romantic love was considered a limited experience between a man and a woman (although Apollo, the god of sun and music advocated for same-sex love, even then).

Today, we are woke and now know that for our mental health, Valentine’s Day must also include self-love and being sensitive to the needs of others.

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