South Africa is a comedy

South Africa, for all its crime and unemployment morbidity, still has its “I can’t believe” moments where if we didn’t laugh, we would land up in Gotham City’s Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

And no, Batman isn’t a superhero. First off is, of course, Advocate Busisiwe Mkhwebane who believes she is entitled to a R10 million bonus for her time as public protector. Seriously.

Calling the 10-bar handout a “gratuity”, she wants “certain conditions and seek just and equitable remedy for the payment of relevant gratuity” declared unconstitutional.

Basically, if you can’t receive your money because you screwed up so badly at work, you want the law changed after the fact so a) you can be paid your “gratuity” and b) anyone following in your footsteps is basically untouchable.

And can we talk about this “gratuity” word please? Collins has it as:

a gift or reward, usually of money, for services rendered; tip

something given without claim or obligation

To be fair, an amount isn’t stipulated but R10 million is hardly a tip. Spreading the love, have all our PPs been receiving this kind of a tip? Especially when the Office of the Public Protector is bleating about lack of money?

Seems a bit hefty for a tip. Then there is flip-flopper extraordinaire EFF commander-in-chief Julius Malema who said the party has no problem with white people. Phew.

What was he going to do if the party did have a problem? Move out from his friend Adriano Mazzotti’s compound? Unlikely. Sharing almost the same postal code as President Cyril Ramaphosa has to be a stone in Ramaphosa’s shoe.

They should walk together more, maybe there would be less screaming and shouting in parliament and more of what citizens expect of parliamentarians.

Back to Malema and white people. At least he’s “not calling for the slaughtering of whites, at least for now” as he did in 2016.

There are more everyday South Africanisms which happen every day that we sit and shake our heads at. If we’re not laughing, there’s probably an eye-roll and, at the very least, a snort.

Like the current warming up for elections on 29 May. Have any of the parties inspired you to grab a T-shirt and hit the streets waving your party flag?

Or, like much of society today, it’s just easier to scroll past the idiocy on social media? All our phones need now is a little lever and let it decide for us because, right now, that’s about all I have the energy for.