Without forgiving others we cannot move forward
THE issue of forgiveness is an old unresolved social issue, affecting our communities, workplaces and churches.
In hostile conditions, we have seen people who passed on without reconciling with those who hurt them or caused turmoil in their hearts.
Consequently leading to a life filled with anger and bitterness.
Indeed, the betrayal caused by a loved one is often heart wrenching and painful, purely because no one expects disappointment to come wrapped in a bow from a friend.
Unfortunately, disappointments and betrayals are a part of life and I am certain that all of humanity has experienced some betrayal in their journey of life. However, I have learnt that holding onto the pain of an aching past or incident can be more dangerous than the betrayal itself.
YES, they disappointed you, dragged your name through the mud, they may have dishonoured your character. But, what good does a grudge bring? What benefit does holding onto the pain bring to your life?
Unfortunately, it brings no reward nor does it heal the wound. As believers, it is important to learn the simple yet profound principle that was exercised by Joseph.
In the book of Genesis, we learn about a man called Joseph, who was anointed with the gift of dreams. But his anointing often caused havoc in his home, as his brothers would often call him “the dreamer”.
Obviously his God-given abilities did not sit well with his brothers and they went to gruesome lengths of plotting his downfall by selling him. Indeed, the act of tricking and malice was horrible for Joseph, as he had to endure a tough journey. But, the journey proved to be beneficial for his destiny.
Furthermore, when he reunites with his brothers after a long time, he does not dwell on the past hurt or pain, but he reassures his brothers in declaring “the evil that you had plotted against me, God turned it into good, so that many lives may be saved” (Genesis 50:20).
He chose to portray love and forgiveness and that is the principle that we should apply when we have been disappointed, we need to let go and letting go means that you have a genuine sense of peace about the past hurts.
But before you can forgive you need to acknowledge that you have been hurt and you must also realise that it happened to you for a specific reason and purpose.
You must remember that our Heavenly Father does not make mistakes, but he refines our character and provides us life lessons that groom and make us better people.
It is also vital that you choose to genuinely forgive and move past the pain.
Furthermore, you must cast off all bad thoughts that trigger the pain and you need to stop putting on the victim cap, as that will prevent you from moving on. It is also important to pray for those who have hurt you and ask the Lord to bless them.
I realise that some of you may be struggling with forgiving an absent father who neglected you at a young age, some struggling with traumas that took place in your household as a child, some struggling to forgive an unfaithful spouse or an abuser that broke down your sense of worth. But I encourage you to start a new life that says “I forgive and I am at peace”.
I realise that some of you may say “it’s not that easy”, but we must learn from Joseph and choose love over hatred. The spirit of the living God will guide you in your journey.
Thus, open your hearts to forgiveness, not for the offender’s gain, but simply for the sake of peace in your heart, mind and spirit.