Support matrics at results’ time
THE anxious day for the release of 2016 matric results has finally arrived and in thousands of homes across South Africa the past holiday will have been a little more stressful than usual, particularly where there has been concern over a pupil’s performance.
An education authority says it is very important that parents and care-givers prepare themselves so that when the results are released, they are equipped to assist and support disappointed pupils in the best way possible.
Nola Payne, head of faculty: information and communication technology at the Independent Institute of Education, said: “The holiday will be a bittersweet one for families of those matriculants who know that their results are not likely to meet expectations – either because the pupil did not do that well, or because their performance may not be good enough to get access to studies towards a sought-after qualification.”
Payne warned that the way adults manage the way they respond when results are revealed can significantly impact on the resilience of matriculants following a disappointment.
It is particularly important to remember that, although the adults may also feel deeply disappointed, they have to manage their own emotions and remember that their first words and reactions may leave a lasting impact.
“The first thing to do is for the adults to take stock and consider their unified position so that the energy can be focused on the pupil and not on resolving parental or family disputes,” Payne said.
Tension could increase and higher levels of anger and aggression as part of a defensive mechanism against the expected parental response should be expected, she said.
Other symptoms of stress, such as depression or social withdrawal, or even health issues such as headaches, may also have been seen in the buildup to the results announcement. “Responsible adults are encouraged to ask direct questions, such as when and where and how the young person will access their results. Build your plans around those of the young person,” Payne said.
“Share your own feelings of anxiety and normalise it, for instance by saying: ‘I am feeling stressed about your results too but remember we can figure this out together and take it from there’.
“Reaffirm your unconditional acceptance of the young person.”
Also prepare your teenager as follows:
ý Encourage them not to compare themselves with their peers, friends and siblings;
ý Remind them that there are many options for the year ahead and that you are going to plot the best route together.