The dangers of pushy parents
Beware of trophy hunting
PUSHY parents are living vicariously through their children, obsessing over their progress and buying into a “trophy-hunting” culture, the deputy head of one of Britain’s top schools has warned.
Children are being drawn into a “relentless cycle” of tutoring, extra lessons and “over-preparing” for classes to feed their parents’ endless desire for success, Loren Macallister of Shrewsbury House School in Surrey said.
Writing in the Spring edition of the education magazine, Attain, she described typical topics of conversation at parents’ coffee mornings and online discussions.
These include “Can you recommend a good tutor for Maths/English etc; our last one is really not working out” or “I really need our DS [darling son] in the top set. He has to be if he is going to (insert school)”.
“In an increasingly results-driven school environment, parents are at risk of being drawn into the relentless cycle of tutoring, over-preparing and trophy-hunting in the desire for their children to succeed,” Macallister said.
“Often the silverware and commendations are a reflection of what a child has achieved on the back of heavy tutoring and, sadly, as a result of parents living vicariously through their children.”
She suggested that teachers’ attempts to combat the pressurised atmosphere include introducing mindfulness and mental well-being courses.
Macallister said many parents saw “endless” tutoring as a “cure-all” solution to their children’s education. Leading independent schools in Britain are now changing their admissions tactics and introducing six-hour entrance assessments in order to see through “over-tutored” pupils.
The likes of Brighton College, Wellington College and Westminster are among those changing the way pupils are examined in order to differentiate between the most naturally able and those who have received the most help.
The British government is also seeking to introduce ‘tutor-proof’ tests, with the changes including a six-hour interview process as opposed to the traditional hour, which head teachers believe will allow the child to relax and their real personality to shine through.
Some schools will also question children on a surprise topic, on which they have had no time to prepare to show their natural aptitude.