Ramphele without Biko’s love demons
MAMPHELA Ramphele has been that woman some women would love to hate but are forced to respect. Her achievements of being a medical doctor, co-founder of the Black Consciousness Movement, vice-chancellor, academic, International Monetary Fund director and author, among many other achievements, made women swallow their judgments of what is moral, despite their reservations about her relationship with the late Steve Biko.
She even had the guts to term her relationship with the married Black Consciousness leader, who died in 1977, as a “three-way relationship” rather than an extramarital affair. Married women especially found her annoying.
Her unrepentant love for and recollection of her long and complex relationship with Steve Biko drove conservative, married women and aspiring monogamous wives to judge her despite her achievements.
“She acts like Biko’s wife” would be the drone song from most quarters
around dinner tables. “Zange sambona umfazi ozenza umfazi ngendonda yomntu (we have never seen a woman make herself someone’s wife of someone’s man)” were the comments that surrounded her achievements.
There was always an undertone that had she not been Biko’s partner and lover, she would not have achieved as much. And it sadly came mostly from women.
All conversations surrounding her reeked of that age-old undertone, “girl, you slept your way to the top”, without laying any of the same blame on Biko. No one seemed to blame Biko for continuing the relationship with her, despite him being married with a family.
Rather, he earned the respect of a gifted intellectual and is even celebrated as a family man.
Conservatives secretly waited for Ramphele’s downfall, even when political party Agang began.
The wives and conservative women I know, in particular, even felt rather vindicated when Agang fell to pieces. It was as if their midnight prayers had finally been answered.
I digress, but I have seen wives gather to pray with fervour about their wayward husbands, beseeching God for the downfall of their side pieces in particular. It can be scary to watch.
But not Ramphele. She kept on moving from strength to strength, unhindered by people’s views of her relationship with Biko. Never has there been someone perceived as a nyatsi (mistress) who became so successful in Mzantsi. And it grated people. Having read her autobiography, in which she chronicled her life story and the saucy details of her relationship with Biko, I for one laid the blame on Biko more than her.
As she was starting Agang, she again wrote a book, A Passion for Freedom, and spoke of their romantic affair/ relationship.
Really? Again? “Hayi maka yeke ngoku losisi ngomyeni womntu (she must stop with someone’s husband now),” said a male colleague when we saw her book at Exclusive Books. That is why it is refreshing to read her latest offering, Dreams, Betrayal and Hope. After the downfall of Agang, the fallout with the DA’s Helen Zille and her eventual isolation in the public consciousness, it is lovely to see her back in public spaces without dragging her romantic relationship with Biko along.
The book’s focus on citizen participation, her intellectual commentary on the historical and current political climate, is a welcome relief from the stereotype of her as clothed in Biko’s memory.
She has always – to me at least – been more than Biko’s former lover, and her latest book shows that. Her never-die spirit is admirable, while letting Biko rest in peace.
She has always been more than Biko’s former lover and her latest book shows that. Her never-die spirit is admirable