Death talks on menu at unusual tea gathering

DYING is an uncomfortable topic of conversation‚ but not over a slice of cake at the Death Cafe in Cape Town.

Here‚ people gather to drink tea‚ eat delicious cake and discuss mortality as a means to make the most of life.

Just ask Jean Dixon, from the seaside village of Fish Hoek.

“It is such a stigmatised subject. People don’t generally want to talk about it. Now‚ you get to go to a place like the Death Cafe and talk about it.

“People come there because they find that there is nobody to talk to‚ or they come there because there is something about death that they feel apprehensive about‚” she said.

Dixon is the driving force behind the Death Cafe at the Hotel Glencairn‚ which promises guests a relaxed evening where conversations are open-minded.

“It is not about grief and trauma but simply a friendly space to discuss the inevitable‚” is how the gathering is advertised.

The Death Cafe‚ described as a social franchise‚ was a concept started in 2011 by Jon Underwood in London who was fascinated by the works of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz and his Mortel Café.

The concept has spread across the world. More than 5 000 Death Cafes have popped up in 55 countries since September 2011.

Jon and his mother‚ psychotherapist Sue Barsky Reid‚ produced a guide to running your own Death Cafe and the concept spread.

“What we do is we have tables [at the hotel] with four people. Most restaurants and cafes are very quiet on a Monday, that is why we do it on Mondays,” Dixon said. “We provide coffee‚ tea and cake. “We then just have a conversation about death. Halfway through, we ask people to stop and swap tables and meet and chat to other people. It is not grief counselling or therapy‚ it is just a conversation.”

The group‚ which meets once a month‚ varies between 20 and 40 people. Dixon said people mainly wanted to discuss the logistics of death – where they wanted to die and what should happen to their bodies.