Bad news headlines

IS there any truth in the rumour that in future each copy of The Herald will come with (at no extra charge) a small, but lethal dose of arsenic, so that the reader may conveniently commit suicide after reading the various headlines?

Here are just a few from Thursday’s newspaper: “Municipal budget rejected again, with deadline looming”, “The sheriff broke into my house”, “Startled dad opens fire, kills son”, ”Public protector defends no-show in parliament”, “Another fuel hike likely next month”, “Don’t provoke me, Zuma warns communist critics”, “Dam levels at new lows”, “Armed gang robs Shoprite”, “Intruders terrify sleeping guest at Walmer lodge”, “Hard road back for victims of the great fire of Knysna”, “Hundreds more homes destroyed” and surely the most desperate and important of all, “Coach needs help in quest to restore Kings’ edge”.

Is it perhaps a better idea to buy or have delivered each morning a Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse comic book?