Put energy into the positive

● It’s all about perspective

For someone who rates Bobby McFerrin’s Don’t Worry, Be Happy as one of her all-time favourite songs, the fact that I become easily stressed is rather odd.

The advantage of being a self-confessed hypochondriac and worry-wart is that my close friends and family don’t expect much from me.

They also feel duty-bound to hand out free advice, motivational books, pamper hampers and cries of “relax!” from time to time.

And, if you’re quiet for long enough, and listen, wisdom pops up in the most unexpected places – often between a slice of a cake and a good old sob.

Take the wisdom of K, for example. She hasn’t written a book, or formulated a happy pill – she’s just a friend who’s somehow tapped the spring of being happy and laughing in the face of danger.

K (not her real name, but close) is one of those people Oprah would love.

Considering the mess we make of life – juggling too many balls while trying to look good, get ahead, pay bills and raise children in some uber-race against ourselves and those luscious lifestyle programmes – K’s formula is deceptively simple. And it works.

It’s all about energy. Not in some shoo-wow, swing-your-incense way but in what you choose to do with the lemons you’ve got.

Either, says K, you’re making lemonade, or rubbing your eyes raw, like a twit.

“It’s about perspective,” she wrote to me one day, when I was moaning about oh, stuff.

“There’s taking reasonable measures to deal with the hard things, but there’s also putting time and energy into the positive things so that they grow and multiply.

“Smile! Don’t deny your feelings, but remember to also express the positive, joyous ones.”

Take it from K – she’s been through the mill. Health-wise, she’s had a very serious illness and some days, could barely wave hello, let alone get up. Money-wise, she has to turn over pennies more carefully than most.

Life-wise, though, she’s rich beyond measure.

I’ve started doing things the K way. I begin by dealing with the dreaded bits – my credit card, making ends meet in myriad ways, wrestling with my wobbly thighs – and then take time (be it 30 seconds or a whole day) to just ... play. Because K’s right.

“One lesson life has beaten into me repeatedly, this year,” she says, “is that the only things really worth fearing are losing people you love, or having them hurt.

“And the only things really worth spending energy on are loving – and doing what you love.

“Rock bottom’s not a bad place to be, because you can take stock of what you do have – instead of what you don’t.”