‘Men must be educated about gender-based violence’
● Unathi Nkayi tells of her on-air ‘rapey’ experience
As SA continues to fight against the scourge of gender-based violence, famous faces such as Unathi Nkayi are on a mission to educate men about why their insensitive or violating behaviour is wrong.
Unathi took to Instagram to call out an unnamed man who allegedly exposed himself to her earlier last week while she was on air.
The man allegedly videocalled Unathi and displayed his genitals.
“I’m a woman and I repeatedly told him I hate video calls,” she said in her comments.
“Video calls when he is clothed.
“He then slaps his [genitals] in my face.
“Don’t do this to yourself. “I’ve kept quiet coz I thought you were genuinely listening to my sisters.
“People who openly seek instant sexual validation are more often than not carrying a sexual trauma themselves. If this is you, seek help.”
Women flooded her comments section with accounts of their personal experiences with similar “rapey” actions and commentary.
Among the hundreds of women were fellow female media personalities Zizo Tshwete and Candice Modiselle, who have both spoken out against gender-based violence in the past.
“The other day I posted a thread about the many faces of sexual coercion as assault, which was seemingly ‘controversial’, Modiselle said.
“Though I wasn’t particularly surprised by the defensiveness many of the replies came with, I was appalled at the flood of responses where men were justifying their rapey ways, entitlement to women’s bodies and complete disregard for consent.
“There is so much learning and unlearning to be done and it starts with these kinds of conversations. Thank you for sharing.”
Tshwete said: “First of all he isn’t a gentleman. Let’s agree on that.
“Your first ‘no’ should be enough.
“Why are there some men who believe that they will eventually wear you down and that you will change your no to a yes?
“Then to say he wants to go to coffee to make it up to you
— there are a few really great therapists we can recommend to this guy because he evidently needs help.
“This unsettled me so much because what if next time you don’t have physical distance from him?