‘Sharing helps ease the pain’

● Alleged sexual assault victims ‘supporting each other with love and understanding’

Both hurting but understanding each other’s pain and suffering, two women — both alleged sexual assault victims — continue to lean on one another for support and comfort.

The women who claim they were sexually assaulted by a Nelson Mandela Bay doctor have spoken out about their emotional turmoil and having to come face-to-face with the alleged perpetrator at the Health Professions Council of SA (HPCSA) hearing into his alleged gross misconduct, which is expected to commence this week.

The two women, aged 28 and 30, who are not being named due to the nature of the alleged offences, said it had been coming together to stand up against their alleged abuser which helped them get through their individual ordeals.

During her testimony last month, *Angelic, 30, of East London, said it had been during her third consultation with the specialist doctor that he allegedly caressed her intimately.

The doctor is not being named after a gag order from the chair of the HPCSA committee, advocate Justice Mogotsi.

The doctor, who has since been suspended, pleaded not guilty to 14 counts of sexual misconduct after four women lodged formal complaints with the regulatory medical body.

Police spokesperson Colonel Priscilla Naidu also confirmed at the time that six cases of sexual assault and two of rape were under investigation by the police.

According to Angelic, after the doctor allegedly touched her inappropriately, he sat behind her on the examination table, put his arms around her and allegedly nuzzled his face in her neck.

Commenting on her experience at the HPCSA hearing, Angelic described the cross-examination by the doctor’s advocate as “brutal”.

“After I testified, I felt incredibly sad about the whole ordeal, traumatised by everything I had gone through up to that point, including the hearing.

“It was us women who were the [alleged] victims.”

Finding it hard enough to tell loved ones about her ordeal, it had been almost unbearable to then be judged for it by the committee, lawyers and even the community, she said.

“I can understand now why so many people keep quiet when they have experienced such things.

“The scenario plays over and over in your mind.

“You beat yourself up daily about what happened, and you keep thinking of how you could and should have handled things differently.

She said finding out there were other women with similar claims had made her feel less alone.

“The other women in the hearing are amazing and we support each other with so much love and understanding.

“I think it is because we went through the same rollercoaster of emotions; guilt, shame and finally the strength to come forward to speak our truth.

“We are perhaps even speaking out for the women who went through the same [alleged] harassment, who cannot or will not come forward.

“[He] knows what he [allegedly] did.

“I went to him so that he could help me with my medical situation and I put my trust in him, as a specialist in his field and a person of authority.

“He [allegedly] took advantage and violated that trust.”

*Melissa, 28, who now lives in Gauteng, said it was during her third consultation with the doctor that things allegedly went wrong.

During her testimony she said that after first consulting with him she had gone to his examination room, where he conducted a medical exam on her before she mentioned to him that she had noticed a small indent on her upper left thigh which she asked him to examine.

According to the woman, after he examined her back and commented on how soft it was he asked her to take off her pants and lie down on the bed, which she did.

She claimed he had placed his hand in her panties.

Melissa said she felt a sense of strength after having testified at the hearing.

“I am not saying that it was not difficult, in fact, it felt sadistic, but for me it was vital to tell the truth.”

Melissa said what allegedly happened to her would not define her life but “it does define the [alleged] perpetrator”.

“I do not feel guilt or shame, because those feelings belong with the accused.

“I am fortunate to have people in my life who have shown me kindness and respect for speaking up.

“The women involved in this case, as well as their friends and family members, have shown me love and given me so much support.

“They were always there, physically and emotionally,” she said.

Melissa said she had decided to speak up about her experience to heal and create a meaningful change

“I do not see myself as a victim.

“I see myself as a person who is standing up for her rights and to hopefully help others to realise that we have the power to change incidences of sexual harassment and sexual violence,” she said.

The doctor’s lawyer, Karen Lee, said: “At this stage we are not going to comment on the matter.”

*Not their real names.