Speaker’s corner
IHAVE noticed a trend with funerals lately. More and more people are choosing not to have one. I certainly don’t want one, especially as I’m not yet dead. More and more people prefer cremation. Three of my friends who have died in recent years stipulated they did not want a funeral or burial service. No mournful music – just a party to celebrate their lives. It’s a sensible trend. One day it might end the need for vast areas to be to set aside for graves most of which are never visited.
A friend, a former newspaper person, Jacci Babich, in New Zealand asked, “What music would you like to accompany you as you shuffle off this mortal coil?”
She told me of “good attendance at a very formal Baptist church”. Family and friends spoke well. Classical music played. The eulogy was excellent. Then everybody smiled in surprise – the coffin was borne away to the Goon Show’s lilting song, ‘Ying Tong, Ying Tong, Ying Tong, Ying Tong, Ying Tong Yiddle ai P’. The father was an ardent Goon fan and was “determined to strike the final chord”.
She e-mailed again a couple of days later to say a piece had appeared in the papers about an Australian survey of funeral music.
The 10 most popular tunes for funeral music were – for males: 1. My Way – Frank Sinatra 2. Time to Say Goodbye – Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman
3. You’ll Never Walk Alone – Gerry and the Pacemakers
4. What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong
5. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother – The Hollies 6. We’ll Meet Again – Vera Lyn 7. You Raise Me Up – Josh Groban 8. Unforgettable – Nat King Cole 9. True Blue – John Williamson 10. On the Road Again - Willie Nelson And for females: 1. Unforgettable – Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole 2. We’ll Meet Again – Vera Lyn 3. Wind Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler 4. Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion 5. I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston 6. The Rose – Bette Midler 7. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion 8. Amazing Grace – Leann Rhimes 9. Candle in the Wind – Elton John 10. Goodbye’s the Saddest Word – Celine Dion
Good Riddance (From Time of Your Life) was also fairly high up! In another survey Ave Maria was 19th choice out of 20.
The Catholic Church in Australia has banned pop songs at funerals including Ding Dong the Witch is Gone.
Jacci says that when in the UK she interviewed a man named John who headed a family-run funeral firm. “He was called out to deal with somebody’s dear old dad. When John arrived the house was in semi darkness as the family was watching Coronation Street or some such soapie and there was no way they were going to have their favourite programme interrupted.
“John sat down on the sofa and waited for it to finish. When the lights went up he asked to be taken to the father and found he had been sitting next to him – he had popped his clogs while watching TV.”
Durban author of How to Kill Your Husband Ronnie Whitaker tells how she attended the funeral of a drunken abusive husband. The hired minister so exaggerated the man’s almost non-existent good points that the widow could not suppress a giggle. This sent her friends into hysterics and all ended doubled up in helpless laughter.
One of my sons-in-law used his GPS to find his way to the funeral of an old friend. He was just in time for mourners to hear, as the coffin was wheeled to the hearse, a disembodied voice from his pocket say, “You have reached your destination.”