‘I have never felt love until now’
One-on-one mentorship is changing lives
MENTORING is about having loads of love to give and changing lives. That was the message from Yvonne Iyer and 17-year-old Nonhlanhla (surname withheld for confidentiality reasons) at the Durban Child and Youth Care Centre in Glenwood.
Last week, the centre held a celebration, symbolic of new beginnings, organised by the Bright Star Mentorship Programme for the teens who would soon be leaving. Trees were planted for each child.
Mentor Iyer and Nonhlanhla first met under the umbrella of the programme, a project of the Durban based Peace Agency which is run at the centre.
Nonhlanhla’s mother died when she was eight years old.
“I had never felt love since my mom died, but with Auntie Yvonne, she is so special to me. She has helped me with my homework and finding focus. When I was worried, she has always comforted me,” Nonhlanhla said.
Iyer, who has a busy professional career, a family of her own and who is studying for a master’s degree, said she wanted to give something back.
“I received an e-mail about mentorship where they were looking for career people to help motivate teenagers,” said Iyer.
She then attended a presentation by Justin Foxton, the founder of the Peace Agency.
She was motivated by the idea of changing one life saying, “we are not all a Nelson Mandela or Mother Theresa, I can use this opportunity to help one person. It’s one hour a week,” she said.
Both said there had been bumps in their journey, but that those had also proved to deepen the relationship.
“At first, Nonhlanhla did not want to do homework or prepare for tests. I thought I am not here to push her, so we just spoke about her life. Then we bought a goal book and set some achievable goals.
“We made a vision board and shared how to visualise, see her goals and set them. We have even spoken about boys and relationships,” said Iyer.
After a year, Nonhlanhla was ready to start tackling her homework and assignments, as well as learning computer skills from Iyer.
“I know I was lazy, but I’ve learned it’s about being responsible,” she said.
Iyer said it was also key for youngsters like Nonhlanhla to learn about giving back.
Nonhlanhla is set to leave the care centre at the end of the year, when she and Yvonne will say goodbye.
Sandi Bennett, relationship development manager for Bright Stars, said the organisation had 101 mentors in KwaZulu-Natal and Gauteng who work with children and teens in circumstances such as poverty, neglect and abuse, which resulted in the children becoming wards of the state.
“This is an extremely emotional time, not only for the children, but for the mentors, child and social workers who love these children as their own,” said Bennett.
“We felt it was important to mark this occasion with a meaningful ceremony to show love and support for everyone involved in this process.”