Marriage in trouble? Stick it out and you will be happy
TWO out of three couples whose relationships were on the rocks ultimately found happiness by sticking it out, a report claimed yesterday.
It found that 68% of parents who said they were happy just after the birth of their first child went on to say they were content together a decade later.
The research undermines the widely-held belief that many couples remain trapped in unhappy relationships for years for the sake of their children.
The report was based on parents who said they were unhappy when asked about their relationship soon after the birth of their first child around the turn of the millennium, and who were then questioned again in 2011.
It found that one in 20 new parents said they were not happy with their relationship.
Of those, seven out of 10 stayed together, with only one in 10 of the couples who remained partners still reporting unhappiness a decade later.
And more than a quarter of the parents who said their relationships were in trouble but remained together described themselves as “extremely happy” 10 years later.
Surprisingly, the results also showed that the most vulnerable relationships were not of those couples who said they were miserable.
Instead, those who said they were not sure whether they were happy were more likely to break up.
The research, carried out by Harry Benson of the Marriage Foundation and Steve McKay of the University of Lincoln, found that cohabiting couples who said they were on the brink of break-up were more than twice as likely as married couples actually to part.
But, their report said, there were major rewards for parents who carried on through the rough patches.
They estimated that only one in 400 couples were unhappy after the birth of their first child and remained unhappy after staying together for 10 years.
The findings, based on data from 10000 parents who took part in the state-backed Millennium Cohort Study, undermines family lawyers who urge unhappy couples to break up on the grounds that conflict at home is worse for children than divorce.
“Most marriages have their unhappy moments, but apart from the fortunately extremely rare cases where the relationship involves abuse, most couples can work through the difficulties to be happy later on,” said Benson.
Marriage Foundation head Sir Paul Coleridge said the research was “myth-busting”.
“Because a couple are having a tough time adjusting to the demands of children does not mean they will not come through it and end up with a really high quality relationship,” Coleridge said. – Daily Mail