Can’t sleep? See ‘Sheep’

KWAZULU-NATAL vet and author Tod Collins, who is busy launching his latest book titled The Black Sheep is not amused by the news of Baa Baa Land, “the dullest movie ever made”, which is soon to hit the screens.

It features eight hours of sheep standing in fields.

“In a world of constant stress and information overload, of anxious days and restless nights… comes the chance at last to pause, to breathe, to calm our racing minds and fretful souls, to sit and stare… at sheep,” its trailer announces.

“Baa Baa Land is the first screen epic entirely starring sheep. A cast of hundreds, all of them sheep. Count them if you can – but don’t stress if you can’t. Sit back, wind down, drift off… to sheep.”

Collins calls it a sad realisation that such drivel can have millions of bucks spent on the production and marketing of a “movie” like this. “Will people actually spend money to sit for even half an hour to watch a natural pastoral scene?

“Well, if they are advanced sufferers of “nature deficit disorder” and live in the heartland of a concrete jungle then maybe such artificial remedies might be vaguely plausible, form of fantasy to these prisoners,” he said from his Underberg home.

“This movie, among so many great films being released, could surely share the title of my latest book, The Black Sheep,” he said. “Only in my movie, the sheep would be riddled with parasites, severely lame, malnourished and suffering from spongiform encephalomalacia. Movie-goers who enjoy this film might be suffering from the latter condition themselves.”

The American-financed British-made film will premiere at the Prince Charles Cinema in London’s West End in September.

It is an example of “Slow Cinema”, a genre of art films known for long takes, slow pace and lack of action or narrative.

“It’s better than any sleeping pill – the ultimate insomnia cure”, says Alex Tew, Baa Baa Land’s executive producer and co-founder of Calm.