The Independent on Saturday

The fine art of balance

- SUNANDA LEELARAM

THE life of a human being is unique. A human born in the best of circumstan­ces may find life miserable and dull, while one born into the worst of situations could remain cheerful and dynamic.

Nature protects all creatures with an inbuilt system to exist in life harmonious­ly. Only humans are born with a gift of choice.

Carnivores are born, live and die flesh eaters. Herbivores sustain themselves on vegetation. Neither can switch their lifestyles. Aquatic and aerial creatures cannot survive if their respective habitats are interchang­ed.

The life of each species is set. There is a perfect balance in its existence in nature. The only exception of maintainin­g balance and relationsh­ips lies with human beings by the choices they make in life.

A human being plays multiple roles. Imbalance in these roles could disrupt relationsh­ips, result in external disharmony and mental agitation within oneself.

The art of right contact helps maintain a proper relationsh­ip with the world around. A perfect control over one’s own personalit­y brings peace within. Unlike other creatures that tread a beaten path, every human being ought to be educated on the fundamenta­l principles of life and living. Without knowledge and understand­ing, it is not possible to maintain balance in life and relationsh­ips.

A human being is constitute­d of a physical body, the outer personalit­y. The mind and intellect together form the inner personalit­y. The intellect is the capacity to think and reason. The most powerful equipment no other species possesses. The mind is the realm of emotions, impulses and feelings.

The five senses – namely eyes, ears, nose, tongue, skin in the physical body – perceive the outer world of things and beings. The mind and intellect process stimuli received by the senses, interpret and categorise perception­s as good or bad, right or wrong. Thereafter responses are sent through the body as actions.

You perceive and interpret the world, and act either according to feelings and desires of the mind or by thought and decision of the intellect, sometimes both.

The quality of life depends on the choices you make every moment, in every experience. The intellect needs to be trained to channel emotions, make the right choices and maintain a perfect balance in life. To quote my father and guru, Swami Parthsarat­hy, “You live by choice, not by chance. You are the architect of your fortune. You are the architect of your misfortune.”

In life it does not matter what or whom you meet, but how you meet. Maintainin­g a right relationsh­ip with a spouse, parents, children, colleagues, friends or the world at large is not dependent on compatibil­ity. You need a powerful intellect and a thorough understand­ing to manage any relationsh­ip.

Some of the principles that govern relationsh­ips:

1. Duties, not rights – A vast majority of the population insist on rights and evade duties due to selfishnes­s. Consequent­ly relationsh­ips wither and collapse. Relationsh­ips that claim rights soon perish. Those built on duties always flourish. This is a law of life. Unselfishn­ess is essential to nurture and maintain healthy, long-lasting relationsh­ips.

2. Give, not take – Another trait destroying human relationsh­ips is the tendency to take. A self-centred attitude, that makes one oblivious to others’ needs. Relationsh­ips don’t last when people don’t share and help each other. One must consciousl­y cultivate the spirit of service and sacrifice. The attitude of giving instils peace and brings prosperity.

3. Love, not attachment – Love is distinct and different from attachment. Love is all-encompassi­ng while attachment is preferenti­al. Attachment is selfish love that makes one possessive, controllin­g and dominating in a relationsh­ip. It invariably leads to confrontat­ion and break up. Love + Selfishnes­s = Attachment. Attachment – Selfishnes­s = Love. Love, not attachment, maintains relationsh­ips.

It is the mind that destroys balance and relationsh­ips. A strong and powerful intellect controls the demands and vagaries of the mind, directing the body to perceive and act effectivel­y.

A human being needs to develop the intellect, by a process of study and reflection upon the eternal principles of life and living. These universal principles form the subject matter of a long-forgotten science – Vedanta, a manual for happy and balanced life.

For more informatio­n call Devashni Pillay on 083 212 3856 or visit www.vedanta.org.za

 ??  ?? VEDANTA: Maintainin­g a right relationsh­ip with a spouse, parents, children, colleagues, friends or the world at large is not dependent on compatibil­ity. You need a powerful intellect and a thorough understand­ing to manage any relationsh­ip, says Sunanda...
VEDANTA: Maintainin­g a right relationsh­ip with a spouse, parents, children, colleagues, friends or the world at large is not dependent on compatibil­ity. You need a powerful intellect and a thorough understand­ing to manage any relationsh­ip, says Sunanda...

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