Speaker’s corner

IT WAS bound to happen. The government is more and more talking of trillions of rands. Thirty years ago it spoke only of spending millions. Nowadays, of course, a million is nothing. Government officials and politicians at all levels are routinely stealing or misappropriating millions – even hundreds of millions.

It doesn’t seem that many years ago that the South Africa government began talking in billions. The Gautrain cost R34 billion last time I heard.

eThekwini Municipality needed almost R40bn for the last financial year.

But now, as I say, we have slipped into talking of projects costing trillions.

Last year the government shelled out R3 trillion on municipalities which, from the largest to the smallest, had not been doing terribly well with mere billions.

A reader, Ahmed Sibda, sent me some thoughts on politicians and their latter-day sense of monetary values.

He says the next time you hear a politician using the word “billion” in a casual manner “think about whether you want that politician spending your tax money”.

A billion is a difficult number for the average person to comprehend, let alone many of those who are in government. President Zuma just giggles when he tries to grasp even much smaller figures.

I recall a few years ago a school teacher trying to help her class comprehend a million. She asked them to bring bottle caps to school. She screened off a corner and the children each day tossed the bottle caps into the enclosure keeping a meticulous count as they did so.

As I recall they failed to accumulate a million, but as the pile began to slide forward under its own weight the lesson was learned. But a billion? An American advertising agency put a billion into some perspective. a. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. b. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. c. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age. d. A billion days ago no humans existed. But, even in 2009, a billion dollars was being spent by the US government every eight hours and 20 minutes.

The current Texas floods reminded me that after the New Orleans flood disaster a Louisiana Democrat asked Congress for $250 billion to repair the city. It was pointed out to him that it would have meant each of New Orleans’ residents – every man, woman and child – would get $516 528 – our equivalent of almost R4 million each.

Daily we read of two-bit South African politicians and officials stealing (or misappropriating) millions of rands – I wonder who’ll be the first to filch a billion?.

To visualise a billion, imagine stacking up R200 notes until they were the height of your seat (50cm). That’s R1 million.

Now a billion in South Africa is 1 000-million. So that would stack up half a kilometre high. And a trillion? In the US a trillion is 1 followed by 12 zeros (1 000 000 000 000). In Britain it is 1 followed by 18 zeros (1 000 000 000 000 000 000). Isn’t that a billion million? South Africa uses the US version – a million million. Whatever – we are now beginning to talk real money.

I wonder how many in our government can comprehend how much that is?

If you were to stack a trillion rands in R200 notes it would reach 500km high – way above the height at which most satellites cruise.

Look, I might be a bit out, but what’s a few million anyway?

Letter to Speaker’s Corner

Esteemed Sir, I have a thought for your readers: when I’m having a bad day and it seems people are trying to wind me up I tell myself it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only four to extend my arm and smack ’em in the mouth!

TROMP VAN D