Cocktail bomb of ‘race’ laughs lightens things

SO WHAT happens when one white South African – Louwrence van Niekerk – invites black fellow-Africans to ask one question about white people on a Friday afternoon?

You get a cocktail bomb of more than 8 700 comments on Facebook, 7 000 shares and more than 6 000 likes, haha’s, wows and hearties.

And perhaps this is just the kind of pick-me-up many needed after a deeply depressing week as Finance Minister Malusi Gigaba confirmed the shambolic state of the South African economy during his midterm budget policy statement this week.

Back to what my black brethren wanted to know about the white folk with straight hair, green and blue eyes – evidently quite a lot.

The thousands of comments went from the absurd to silly, funny and bizarre. There were obviously too many to mention – but they ranged from pet habits, flat bums, two left feet, to – oh-oh – land.

UCT student Kuhle Kema took the bull by the horns and asked if white fathers also desert their families?

It’s a touchy subject, as a 2013 StatsSA report shows that only 36% of children live with both biological parents, with only 2% living with their biological father.

Kema’s wording of the question was hilarious however, drawing laughter as he asked white people: “Do your dads also go to the shop and never come back?”

Ever wondered about white people and their sense of adventure? So does Buzile Bubs Mtetwa: “White folks... are you guys immortal, I mean, Why do you test God? Free falling? Jumping from one building to another? Free diving? Everything that has the possibility of dying you do. I mean even in the movies you go look for the f ***** killer Whyyyyyyyy?”

Barry Gelderbroom said: “In short, stress relief ”.

And what’s up with white people feeding their dogs pricey chicken that 30 million of the population can’t afford? That’s what Letlatsa Lebohang Moloi wanted to know when she asked: “Why do y’all feed your dogs Woolworths chicken?”

More than 200 replies later, one white dude responded: “pre-cooked breasts, time saving I guess” and another white lady responded: “A happy dog looks after the family”.

Another white lady said her kittens didn’t like chicken from other supermarkets and concluded: “Which makes me wonder what those are fed or injected with… if the cats don’t like the smell then I won’t eat it either. So... Woollies only for me,” she said.

Must be nice. What do they say about white people and dancing again?

Phehello Motlhake has the reminder: “Doof doof doof… its a beat… why cant you keep up with it”.

One white lady said it was a “sensitive topic” that white people preferred not to talk about.

But one Indian-looking Jushiel Nagin had all the answers:

“It all comes back to the stolen land... Guilty feet have got no rhythm”.

While we’re there on the land question, Veshalin Naidoo asked: “Soooo when are you going to give the land back?”

And the man responsible for all the havoc said: “I love how something as simple as a Facebook page and some silly questions can bring all South Africans together. You guys are f ****** awesome.”