Silence is broken
TV JOURNALIST-turned-author Vanessa Govender couldn’t have imagined how successful her book Beaten But Not
Broken would be – but she cannot say she is happy about it.
Her book, detailing intimate details of an abusive relationship with a colleague at the SABC, is among the top-sellers in the country.
“It’s been quite soul-crushing to hear, since the release of my book, how many women are still caught in abusive relationships, too afraid to speak out or break free. My inbox on social media has been inundated with messages from women who are in the same situation I was in,” she said.
Her comments came as President Cyril Ramaphosa spoke at the National Gender Summit in Pretoria this week, where he called for the possible introduction of an open registry of abusers of women and children.
Govender said it was incredible that so many people who might have suspected something was amiss in her relationship did not help.
“I was a victim and I didn’t know how to help myself. But people looked away; even if they suspected something, people stayed silent. And that is how abusers thrive, they thrive knowing their victims will remain silent, fearful, and feel shame,” she said.
“The only way to break free is to speak about what is happening, and you diminish the power that abuser has over you. The best advice I was given was ‘the best place to hide is in the light.’”
Govender said speaking out, and uniting as women to protect each other and form a barrier against abusers, was one of the solutions to help women across the country.
“Women are facing a crisis in the country; this is the time for change. Having an open registry of offenders will be one way to combat abusers.”