Answering his father’s call
Man’s search for family has happy ending
HIS dad guided him home.
That is the conviction of the Durban family of Neil Pillai from the UK, who was recently in the city searching for his roots.
A story in the Independent on Saturday last week was shared widely among the Durban community regarding Neil’s search for his father, Kosalan, who grew up in Durban in the 1940s and ’50s.
Neil left two weeks ago after a fruitless eight-week search, but it all changed this week.
Speaking from their Musgrave home yesterday, Kosalan’s sister, Kay (Kalayani) Pillai, 68, and her niece, Charmaine Chetty, shared what has been an emotional week for the family after they made contact with Neil.
“I was just walking out the door to the shops when I heard the phone ring last Saturday morning. A close family friend had seen the article and told me about Neil being in Durban looking for his family. I was in a state of shock,” said Charmaine.
She sat Kay down before telling her the news.
Kay was the youngest in the Pillai family, with three older brothers, Kosalan, Kugen and Magalyn, and their parents, Savathri and Sithambaram, who have all died.
Kosalan left for Ireland to study at the Royal College of Surgeons when Kay was still a girl. He met and married an Irish woman. He died in 1973 when Neil was only 6 years old.
Kay said Kosalan travelled to Durban for the last time in 1972 and the family were shocked to learn of his death the next year.
Neil’s mother moved to London, taking Neil and his younger sister with her, and broke all contact with her late husband’s family.
Kay said during the 1970s she and her father had gone to London to try to trace Neil and his sister.
“We got some leads but got nowhere finding them. Since I lost my family, that child (Neil) was always on my mind.
“I was really happy to find out he had been here. It is like a miracle, it really is a dream come true,” she said.
Describing Kosalan as a very kind, loving and compassionate man who achieved straight As at school, Kay said when she saw the photograph of Neil in the newspaper, she immediately saw the likeness between Neil and his father.
Charmaine emailed Neil and on Tuesday, Kay and Neil spoke for the first time.
“I was a bit anxious, but when we started talking, it was like we had always known each other. We talked again on Wednesday; it was meant to be,” said Kay.
Charmaine said while Neil had been in Durban, he stayed not far from the Pillai family’s original home in Livingstone Avenue in Morningside.
“We told Neil that his dad guided him home,” said Charmaine.
Speaking from the UK on Wednesday, Neil said he was overwhelmed to have found his father’s family.
Now 53 years old, Neil has spent many years travelling and working around the world. He said he felt a need to come to Durban and find his father’s roots.
He said emails from the Durban community “poured in, with many people offering their help and good wishes. I would like to send out my thanks to all the well wishers”.
“Among the responses was one from my dad’s only living sibling, Kalayani Pillai. I never even knew he had a sister. She has also put me in touch with all his cousins and my family have welcomed me with open arms,” said Neil.
The Pillai family hope he will be able to visit Durban again soon, so that they can all meet.