Peace should always reign in everyday situations
“I … AM an image of what is happening everywhere, and I want it to stop today.” – Richard Rohr.
In our defence, we had been in the queue for a good couple of hours. Lolly had been as patient as anyone could reasonably expect a 5-year-old to be and Cathy was working hard at maintaining that “isn’t-this-all-so-wonderful” face that parents do in adverse holiday situations. I was trying manfully to practise saying hello and smiling at people. But it was hot, the queue was endless and the experience was losing its shine.
The Table Mountain cable way is a world-class tourist attraction that is exceptionally well run. However, on this particular day there had been early morning wind on the mountain and the cable car had remained shut until around 10am – the time that we arrived. As a consequence, there were several hundred people in front of us waiting to be ferried up the mountain.
We were getting close to the front when we became aware of an adolescent child – a new face in our immediate circle of queue friends – standing behind us. We thought little of it, until we became aware that the rest of his family were following suit; leapfrogging their way up the winding line of people one family member at a time.
Father would nudge a child forward to hop the queue and once the child had blended in with the crowds, the rest of the Von Traps would follow.
Eventually the whole lot of them were in front of us. Cathy transformed from oh-so-happy Mum into Darth Vader. I thought about greeting these newcomers in a friendly “being peace” kind of way but opted to spend the rest of our wait plotting ever more gruesome ways to exact my revenge.
However, in that unspoken way that spouses sometimes make decisions we opted for a truly brave and adult response to this irksome family: we stood close behind them and muttered our disgust at their appalling queue etiquette – just loudly enough for them to hear: “What gives people the right? “and “I hope they enjoy the extra few seconds of view they will have”. It was this last comment that caused the mother to turn round, take Cathy’s hand and say patronisingly: “Oh, darling, we will!”
Well, Cathy transformed out of Darth Vader into Lucifer himself and made to mouth off. I chose to play the peace-maker role in this somewhat volatile situation by declaring loudly: “Oh, leave it, Cath, they aren’t worth it!”
Violence
I turned away in a huff and looked down towards the city. Just a short distance below our scene of mountain rage, the university students were continuing to enact #FeesMustFall by looting, burning, threatening and expressing hatred and vengeance. My anger-spilt-over at our small queueing injustice was suddenly inseparable from the rage of our nation. I went cold.
How easily I point fingers; how quickly I exonerate myself, paint a me-and-them picture. I am non-violent and peaceful because I speak and write about such lofty ideals, damn it; because I mouth off against the violence associated with such campaigns as #FeesMustFall.
I am better than someone who hurts people or damages property. I may spew vitriol about this family, that group of students or some random politicians.
But as long as it is behind people’s backs or in the safety of my social or work circle, then I can still pass as a reasonable, peaceful citizen.
Much of my passion is about promoting peace and non-violence in our country and there I was reacting in a decidedly non-peaceful way to something as petty as queue hoppers.
In effect, I acknowledged in that situation that a violent response to injustice is easier – better perhaps – than a non-violent response.
This was abhorrent to me; shameful in fact; a denial of the infinitely powerful processes of peaceful conflict resolution.
“He who is without blame cast the first stone.” I know I must drop my stone – in truth we all must – but preaching about peace and tolerance is so much easier than actually doing anything about it. We want to stone the so-called “wrong-doers” as this eases our pain and assuages our guilt. But we must find a way – even in the seemingly small instances of violence and confrontation in our everyday lives. We must take responsibility for setting a tone of non-violence in our nation.
Interaction by interaction, we must transform the present moment into a cauldron of peace. This is the long but necessary road – indeed the only road – to the peaceful society we wish to inhabit.
Of course, Murphy insisted that we bump into this family at least half a dozen times on our mountain adventure. Not only that, but while having lunch at a wine estate two days later, they were sitting at the next door table!
We will be presented with the challenge time and again until we listen and drop the stone.
Foxton is the founder of The Peace Agency. This column is dedicated to the memory of Anene Booysen, 17, who was gang-raped and murdered in 2013, and to Mozambican Emmanuel Josias Sithole, who was beaten and stabbed to death last year.