Operation Barbarossa revisited
NOW here’s a strange turn-up. I’m approached by historian Dr Mark Coglan, of the provincial museum service, who wants to know if there’s anything I can tell him about one of my illustrious predecessors as Idler, Dennis Henshaw. Also if there’s anything I can tell him about a Dr Heinrich Haape, who co-wrote a book with Dennis way back in the ’50s.
There’s plenty I can tell him about Dennis. He was a most vivid character, a wonderful writer. But I’m afraid I had never heard until now of Dr Haape.
Moscow Tram Stop: A Doctor’s Experiences with the German Spearhead in Russia was published in London by Collins in 1957.
It records Haape’s experiences as a medical doctor on the frontline in Operation Barbarossa, Hitler’s invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941.
The invasion began as a cakewalk. The Germans would capture Moscow in a matter of weeks. But then came the fatal order to halt. Then General Winter took over and the Germans were frozen into defeat – exactly as had happened in Russia to Napoleon all those years ago (inspiring Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture).
The closest they got to taking Moscow was the tram stop of the title – it was on the outskirts.
It seems Dr Haape emigrated to South Africa after the war. Dr Coglan presumes he befriended Dennis Henshaw, who would have told him his story deserved to be published, and presumably he did the writing of it. His name is there on the cover as associate author.
Did Haape have family in South Africa? Any children? Are any descendants still around? If so, Dr Coglan would be very grateful if they would get in touch with him. Can anyone out there help?
Two spells
BUT I can fill him in on Dennis Henshaw. He had two spells as Idler. During the early one, there was an American psychologist called Dr Murray Banks who used to tour South Africa with a show in which he would psychoanalyse people in a supposedly entertaining way. It was a sort of pop psychology.
Dennis went to one of his shows and did not think much of it. He panned it in his review.
Next evening Dr Banks held up a cutting of Dennis’s review and from it he proceeded to psycho-analyse Dennis before a packed city hall.
To roars of laughter, he concluded that Dennis Henshaw was a repressed homosexual.
Now Dennis had a complicated love life, but a homosexual he was not. He slapped a writ for defamation on Dr Banks. They confiscated Banks’s passport. To be allowed to return to America, he had to settle out of court with Dennis for a staggering sum.
At which Dennis resigned from the newspaper and went to the Greek island of Skiathos where he developed a second career in tourism, building chalets and things. (People who’ve been there say he’s still a legend on the island.)
He had it made. When his successor as Idler took a month’s leave, Dennis would fly back to Durban (courtesy of Hellenic Airlines) and write the Idler’s column again, this time with a strong Greek flavour.
At the old 67 Restaurant, just off the Esplanade, celebrities would put their signature on the wall, accompanied by a message.
“Stay adjusted! – Dr Murray banks.”
Just beneath it: “Stay compensated! – Dennis Henshaw.”
The Greek venture – and Dennis’s regular jaunts to Durban – went on for many years. But then Dennis fell foul of The Colonels – or maybe it was the people who kicked The Colonels out, I can’t remember – and he had to skedaddle, losing everything.
Then he was back for his second stint as Idler, as if he’d never left.
Yes, a most vivid and entertaining fellow. His insistence that budgies can’t talk almost got him lynched by the budgie-fanciers.
But I never heard him mention anything about any book he’d written about Russia and Operation Barbarossa. Maybe the budgies loomed larger.
I hope this helps.
Tailpiece
THE Loch Ness Monster squeezes into a Soho bar and orders a shot of whisky for £8.
“You’re quite an unusual sight, if you don’t mind my saying so, Sir,” says the barman. “We don’t get many monsters in here.”
“Aye, and at yer prices I’m noo surprised.”
Last word
DRAWING on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. – Robert Benchley