Kentucky Fried Chicken in space
IT’S another giant leap in the space programme tomorrow. Fast-food operator KFC is to launch its Zinger chicken sandwich into space.
It won’t be a rocket blastoff. It will be from New York in a high-altitude solarpowered balloon known as a “stratollite”, which will zip up to 45km above Earth then float for four days, recording telemetry data to assist future balloon ascents, before coming down again, according to Associated Press..
Data on the resilience of Zinger chicken sandwiches on the edge of space? Er, it seems not. KFC are sponsoring the ascent as a publicity stunt. The telemetry will assist World View, the balloon’s manufacturer, in planning further ascents.
All the same, it will be interesting to know if a KFC Zinger chicken sandwich returns after four days on the fringes of space in an enhanced or reduced state of tastiness.
Colonel Sanders was not available for comment.
Barbarossa
A FLURRY of response has greeted last week’s piece in which historian Dr Mark Coglan appealed for information about Dr Heinrich Haape, who was in Operation Barbarossa, the German invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941, which ended in defeat in the depths of the Russian winter.
Haape came to Durban after the war and produced a book about his experiences, co-written with Dennis Henshaw, who at the time was in the Idler’s chair at The Mercury.
Among the respondents are Haape’s nephew and various others, who I have put in touch with Dr Coglan.
What I have managed to scratch together so far is that Haape was married to a Viennese opera singer named Martha.
He bought a farm at Hillcrest (from the grandmother of a pal of mine, Norman Bellows, as it happens) where he built a schloss (castle) near the present-day Oxford Centre.
This schloss was designed for indoor musical evenings and had a special balcony from which Martha would sing.
Another friend, a member of the local German community, recalls being taken to these recitals at the age of eight. He thinks reaction to the experience set him on his subsequent career of jazz, folk and rock music.
Haape had a bakery called Donut King; also a business in Pinetown that produced non-stick cake tins. According to my pal Norman, he had a kaolin mine somewhere in Zululand, though he’s not sure where.
The Haapes had two sons, one of whom returned to Germany.
I wonder what goes on at the schloss these days?
Proteas
BATSMAN or Batman? Rob Nicolai, Howick’s resident theoretical physicist, suggests that our Proteas cricket side need a bit of superhero help to overcome their mental obstacles at big international tournaments.
“As Batman has defeated the dangerous Joker many times in his career maybe the Dark Knight could chase away the Choker habit?
“The only downside to calling on Batman is that he might be too distracted by rallying against rampant corruption. Batman will not risk driving the expensive Batmobile in Saxonwold where there are so many secret shebeens.”
Pips
THE Pips are about to squeak, investment analyst Dr James Greener tells us in his latest grumpy newsletter.
“The new Financial Intelligence Act is now in place and ready to make the Pips squeak! Pips are ‘prominent influential persons’ who will in future attract ‘enhanced due diligence’ when opening a banking or broking account.
“It all sounds very praiseworthy but it is also an admission that the existing legislation has failed to stop money laundering. Those of us who are small and insignificant enough for our banks to hassle us have been hugely inconvenienced over the years with demands to prove where we live and trips to the police station so that a bored constable can certify a copy.
“Meanwhile the real money did precisely what it liked. Like take overseas trips in big carry-on bags. Much as we would like to believe that the bad guys are going to get caught, our experience and cynicism suggests that not much will change.”
Tailpiece
A DOG goes into a telegraph office and dictates a message: “Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.”
Telegraph clerk: “We charge per 10 words. You can have an extra ‘woof ’ for free.”
Dog: “No thanks. That would sound silly.”
Last word
IMAGINATION is more important than knowledge. – Albert Einstein