Putin the smoocher
PRESIDENT Vladimir Putin of Russia has been photographed kissing and cuddling a repulsively ugly dog.
The alabai puppy he was given looks like something between a pug, a guinea pig and a fox terrier. It was a belated birthday present from Turkmenistan President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov.
The gift seems to have overwhelmed Putin. Photographs of him cuddling and kissing the puppy have appeared on Twitter. (We wonder what his lady friends look like?)
It’s sent internet wags and photoshoppers into overdrive. One has the alabai (Central Asian shepherd) pup with a Donald Trump hairstyle. It doesn’t improve its looks. Another has Putin walking a miniaturised Donald Trump in a dog harness.
What are they getting at? International realpolitik becomes more complex by the day.
Horror show
CALL it the Kings Park Horror Show. For 20 minutes the Sharks were absolutely on top, not missing a beat.
Then they seemed to get bored with the game and take their foot off the gas. At which point the crowd got pretty bored too.
Against a side like Western Province you don’t get away with it, especially when your game plan switches to aimlessly hoofing the ball
READERS say it perfectly…
“Dear Rod, I haven’t been able to let go of the article you wrote on “things I learnt from my father”.
I had a strange relationship with my dad. We had so little in common.
He was a mechanic, a simple man who placed very little value on material things, while I have pursued an artistic career.
My being one of his six children probably didn’t help. His attention would have been divided as equally as he could manage.
Always a deeply religious man, he must have struggled with the fact that only one of his six children continued his faith legacy.
He was a man of few THE IDLER mercidler@inl.co.za
downfield, to let them gather and run back at you. That way we gifted them the tries.
Mamma mia! To kick away possession is like deciding not to jump in your own lineout or not to heel in your own scrum. It’s crazy!
The pack performed fitfully. The three-quarters were taking the ball standing still. Possession – the scraps of it – meant going backwards.
Who’s ever seen anything like it from a side that, until Saturday, had lost just one game?
They have a week to get it together for the semi-final against the Bulls. No doubt Robert du Preez has stern things to say.
Street survey
MY MAN in Blighty reports that a BBC street interviewer was asking people their Zodiac sign.
He stopped an attractive young woman. “And what star sign are you, madam?” “Herpes.” “Surely you mean Pisces?” words, preferring to let his actions speak for him.
For years I tried so hard to be everything he wasn’t and I am embarrassed to admit that this caused him great pain.
Typically, he never called me up on any of my misguided journeys, preferring to be silent and allowing me to “Well, maybe that’s the one.”
Comedy material
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest grumpy newsletter the movie potential of South African politics.
“Film-makers must long for the chance to be able to make ‘fly-on-the-wall’ documentaries during meetings of the South African cabinet.
“On one side the Department of Communications is insisting that the lack of a board of directors for the SABC is not having a material effect on operations. But simultaneously National Treasury is complaining that the national broadcaster has far too many temporary find my own way, safe in the knowledge that he would welcome me home despite who or what I had become.
I never said the words “I love you” to him, except when I wrote apologising for the pain I had caused him, and also to thank him for passing on his values to me. Michael Taylor-Broderick, Durban A former Durbanite, Smith is a family therapist in the US. You can e-mail him at FamilyTherapist@iCloud.com executive appointments.
“Then there’s the squabble about selling the state’s shareholding in Telkom to bail SAA out of its bottomless pit of debt. Meanwhile, the police minister is inciting his staff to break the law and torture suspects, and the minister of the grossly misnamed Public Service and Administration department is having a hissy fit because her staff won’t let her spend money on unbudgeted jaunts.
“And all of this takes place under the eye of Number One at the head of the table, giggling gently. Awardwinning comedy material indeed.”
Snippets
SOME snippets from here and there:
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef ’s claim was approved.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his fault, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn’t discovered for three days.
Tailpiece
THIS fellow goes into a lingerie shop and says he wants a fancy bra for his wife.
Saleswoman: “What size bra is she?” “Seven-and-a-half.” “Seven-and-a-half ? Where do you get a measurement like that?”
“I measured with me ’at.”
Last word
FAR from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. – Soren Kierkegaard