Tractor protest in streets of London

THIS was a different kind of procession of protest through the streets of London a few days ago – nothing to do with the wars in Gaza or Ukraine.

These were British farmers driving tractors, a lengthy and impressive column protesting about their economic position.

And one of the issues raised was Brexit. The break with Europe was making food exports difficult. The farmers were suffering.

What would Foreign Secretary Lord Cameron have made of this?

Not all that long ago as plain David Cameron, a pro-EU prime minister, he was fighting a referendum in favour of Brexit that he called, one presumes, to silence the Brexit nigglers for good.

What a miscalculation. Billions of pounds left the London Stock Exchange. Some British manufacturers began setting up plants in the EU itself rather than go through the logistical nightmare of customs clearance.

And now, it seems it's the farmers who are also suffering. I guess you can't just set up your surplus breeding herd of sheep or cattle in some quiet part of Europe.

Brexit issues recall the words of Churchill in 1946 when he called for a “United States of Europe”.

“In this way only will hundreds of millions of toilers be able to regain the simple joys and hopes which make life worth living.”

Ask the farmers.

Imperialist blue jeans

NORTH Korea's state television channel has censored a BBC gardening programme – by blurring out presenter Alan Titchmarsh's blue jeans, which are seen to symbolise Western imperialism.

The open-necked shirt was okay but Central TV made sure viewers could not be corrupted into capitalism by his jeans. His legs appeared simply blurry.

Back in the 1990s, then leader Kim Jong-il declared denim trousers to be a symbol of Western, specifically American, imperialism, which had no place in a socialist state.

Kim was irked by jeans and T-shirts bearing Western logos, which are popular in South Korea. Western programming is rare on North Korean screens, as the regime is careful – to the point of paranoia – about allowing foreign culture to enter the country.

Yes, you can never be too careful. I wonder what the North Koreans think of the Scots kilt.

Tailpiece

Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop. They see a grizzled oldtimer having breakfast.

One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy's pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.

Without a word of protest, the old guy pays his bill and leaves.

“Not much of a man, was he?” says one of the bikers.

“Not much of a driver, either,” says the waitress. “He just backed his truck over three motorcycles.”

Last word

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programmes, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning. – Rick Cook