Kings Park and no butterflies
WHAT a Currie Cup season it’s been. What a pleasure to see this young Sharks side build into such a formidable combination, doing all the right things. So much more fun than watching the Boks.
Yet a strange lack of the butterflies as we go into tomorrow’s final match of the round robin, a rare 3 o’clock game against Western Province. We’ve already got a home semi – that’s what happens when you win 11 out of 12 matches, with bonus points here and there, and you’re sitting at the top of the log.
So what we’re expecting is a feast of rugby. Not silly buggers rugby, throwing all caution to the winds, but lots of ball-in-hand stuff, a proper run-up to the semi.
It would be nice to see a decent crowd turn-out for this last match of the round robin, a show of appreciation for the lads who have done so brilliantly. But the weather could be against us. The fundis say there’ll be another cold front moving through – they don’t say if it will be accompanied by wind, the way we had earlier in the week.
Our last two matches at Kings Park have been played in a downpour. Maybe it’ll be snow and sleet tomorrow. But who cares, we have the home semi.
See you in the Duikers for Cossack dancing. I do hope the gals behave at the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties. I’m told they’ve invested in new knicker elastic – the old had become somewhat stretched over the Currie Cup season – in anticipation of the semi-final where the elastic is used to fashion catapults for the traditional celebratory feu de joie, in which the streetlights are shot out. Things so easily get out of hand.
’Erewego, ’erewego, ’erewego!
Cops and robbers
SOCIAL media is infiltrating every corner of life. In the US it’s even part of cops and robbers, the cops and criminals challenging and rubbishing each other on Facebook.
The police at Redford, near Detroit, are looking for a fellow who calls himself Champagne Torino and is on Facebook. Torino has several warrants out for his arrest, but they can’t find him.
“You guys suck!” Torino said on the police Facebook page.
The cops threatened to block him from the page. At which Torino offered to turn himself in, plus hand over a bag of a dozen doughnuts, if the cops’ next post attracted 1 000 shares.
The cops posted: “Donuts !!!! He promised us donuts! You know how much we love donuts! Help us win this challenge and clean up bllght in Redford at the same time! It’s as easy as a SHARE of this post.”
The post had 4 200 shares in a matter of hours. But, so far, Champagne Torino has failed to materialise, nor have his doughnuts.
Is there not something a little disturbing about this nebulous and intangible tosh? Cops poring over Facebook. A criminal distressed at the thought of being removed from a Facebook page. What about the real world? And that goes for not just cops and criminals in the Detroit area.
Goldilocks
HERE’S a story of the Three Bears. But Goldilocks didn’t feature and they ate not porridge but pizza dough and salami.
A mother bear and her two cubs were caught on CCTV, ripping out the service window of a pizza parlour near Denver, Colorado, in the US, climbing through and then helping themselves to the goodies.
They ate more than 20kg of dough and caused damage of $1 000 (R14 000). It shows what can happen if you leave Goldilocks out of the plot.
Stick-up
MORE news from America. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.
The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.
Tailpiece
A SAILOR is in trouble off the German coast. He radios to the coastguard: “Mayday, Mayday! We are sinking, we are sinking!”
The radio crackles into life: “Und vot you sinking about?”
Last word
THE place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum. – Havelock Ellis