Ditch self-lies; repair yourself

THE power of repair, of change, comes not because you buy a new car, get a new job, or ditch your spouse for a new one.

It begins nowhere else but in the deepest recesses of your soul.

For the journey you (“we” – I am on it, too) will require a will of steel, pencil and paper, humility, and an open heart.

Then:

◆ Face yourself. It’s impossible to be genuine with others while you are fooling yourself. Tell yourself the truth about yourself. Unwind and dismantle your self-lies, pretensions and sophistications.

Despite your fears, you will probably not fall apart. My hunch is you’ll “fall together” and become more beautiful than you can imagine.

◆ Open up. Be more vulnerable. Let others, but not all others, in. Tell people who love you what terrifies you. Expose your masks, the façades you fear losing. Tell them about what you fear will be exposed. But, take your time. The cover-up has taken a lifetime. It won’t be repaired overnight, or without pain.

◆ Set yourself on a “highest good” track: for yourself first, for others, second. Do no harm and try to avoid people and organisations that do.

Promote the empowerment and well-being of others. This is most tangibly done through acts of generosity, service and forgiveness.