Old Boy looks into absentee fathers

OLD Queenian Aluta Kibi, along with his peers, as part of their undergraduate studies in clinical psychology, looked into topics like fatherhood and families and the impact these had on children.

Kibi’s interest in the topic was so piqued that he continued his research into the role of a father in a family, particularly of boys.

Kibi’s Masters studies revolved around “The effects of father absenteeism on the development of a masculine identity of young Xhosa men in an urban township.”

Kibi said, “We looked at what the role is of a father on a boy’s life, what influence he has in a boy’s masculine identity and we did a qualitative research study, where we found five participants whom I interviewed.”

Findings included that absenteeism of a father affected the boy’s passage to manhood.

“We discovered that the boy would grow up without, Imbeleko, ’ (a traditional ceremony that is conducted as an act of detaching the umbilical connection from the mother and introducing the child to the ancestors). This becomes an issue when the boy has to undergo circumcision. The boys feel they are not protected and they feel vulnerable.”

He said boys would struggle to find a male figure to stand in for their fathers for the ceremony.

A further finding was that an absent father led to neglect and emotional pain.

“Most men said they would grow up beside their mother’s family. They would be asked why they wanted a father, when their mother had done everything for them, making it appear as if they did not appreciate what their mother had done.”

He said they discovered there would be further tensions if the mother was a Christian while the father believed in traditional ceremonies.

“I recommend that in future cultural leaders should be involved in these discussions. When a child grows up without a father, they need to intervene to say what can be done for the child that does not have a voice. We need to look at practices like Imbeleko , on how they can be done if the father or biological family cannot be located.”

Kibi said mothers needed to create platforms for male children and to clarify why their fathers were absent.

He encouraged young men to seek psychological services to help them through their ordeal of growing up without a father and said support groups would be an advantage where the young men could share their challenges.

He hopes to take his findings to the Eastern Cape House of Traditional Leaders.