Women want ‘mod­ern chivalry’ – but find it’s rare

The Star Early Edition - - NEWS -

WOMEN may not want a knight in shin­ing ar­mour any more, but they would still like a date to be­have like a gen­tle­man.

In­stead, nearly three-quar­ters think that chivalry is dead, a sur­vey has found.

While tra­di­tional acts of cour­tesy like help­ing a woman put on her coat or pulling out a chair for her are now mostly seen as out­dated, women hoped ges­tures of “mod­ern chivalry” would have re­placed them.

Men call­ing when they say they will topped the list of th­ese acts of po­lite­ness that women most want, cited by 84%. A sim­i­lar num­ber ex­pect a part­ner to check they got home safely af­ter a date.

Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is clearly cen­tral to mod­ern chivalry, as four in five also said they wanted to re­ceive at­ten­tive texts dur­ing the day, and ex­pect phones to be turned off dur­ing dates. But 73% of sin­gle women polled are be­ing left dis­ap­pointed, and said their dat­ing ex­pe­ri­ences have made them fear chivalry is dead.

Two-thirds (65%) com­plained of be­ing “ghosted” by a love in­ter­est, which is when they sud­denly cut off all com­mu­ni­ca­tion with no warn­ing.

Oth­ers com­plained of “bread-crumb­ing”, a new term that de­scribes when some­one con­tacts you only in­ter­mit­tently in or­der to keep you in­ter­ested with­out ex­pend­ing much ef­fort.

An­other com­mon prob­lem was “bench­ing” – like be­ing put on the bench in a sports match – where some­one side­lines a love in­ter­est while they look for a bet­ter op­tion.

The sur­vey of more than 500 women of all ages was car­ried out for dat­ing site Match. com. Vicky Pavitt, of the web­site, said: “What the re­search shows is that women are start­ing to lose faith in mod­ern dat­ing. From bread-crumb­ing to bench­ing, it can be easy to feel dis­en­chanted.”

Other acts of cour­tesy women said they would like to see from a love in­ter­est in­cluded pick­ing her up for a date, let­ting her use his phone when her bat­tery runs out, and act­ing keen to meet her friends and fam­ily, which were all cited by three-quar­ters of those sur­veyed.

In a sign of true Bri­tish­ness, 72% said it is im­por­tant he knows how she likes her tea.

Mean­while, four in 10 said that they thought it was out­dated for a man to help a woman put on her coat or pull out a chair for her, while 45% said it was old-fash­ioned to in­sist on her or­der­ing first in a restau­rant. – Daily Mail

ACT OF COUR­TESY: Women want good com­mu­ni­ca­tion to be cen­tral to mod­ern chivalry.

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