Bring back the much-needed practice of chivalry

I’M definitely no hard-core feminist. Even though I do believe that the patriarchal system that society and the government has created should be revised somehow, I still believe that men and women have different roles to play in a relationship.

While some women insist on going 50/50 within their relationships, I believe that there are still certain responsibilities that a man should take up on his own. When a woman always insists on performing the duties that her male counterpart used to do, doesn’t it somehow emasculate him?

I often notice how some women don’t care about the male ego or masculinity, but I feel in doing so, you become the opposite of the patriarchal douche-bags we are trying to distance ourselves from.

Laura Schlessinger puts it so perfectly in her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage, “Chivalry is largely dead and feminism is the murderer”.

I still want to enjoy being a woman and I will let a man treat me as such, be it holding the door open for me, carrying my bag, opening the car door, walking on the outside of the pavement closest to the street or even paying for a meal; chivalry and gentlemanly behaviour is a good thing and it’s always welcome in my world, therefore in return I will treat and respect him as the man he is.

The problem is that we have somehow adopted a “hook-up culture”, where dating is dead. It’s all about hooking up, getting a number, grabbing a drink (splitting the bill) and getting down. Although it seems the only time a man is willing to pay for the entire bill is when he knows for sure that he gets to “smash” at the end of the night.

When did it all of a sudden become acceptable to just text a girl inviting her for a shag? What happened to the chase?

It’s clear to me that some women have become complacent and allowed men to get away with such behaviour. Ultimately, how people treat you should be a reflection of how you carry yourself.

So these feminists are fighting to be recognised on an equal spectrum as males. I don’t understand how that is okay. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the whole battle with women’s rights and equality when it comes to our basic human rights and I also stand for that.

However, this battle should not spill over into the relationship or household space. We were created differently for a reason, not that any gender should undermine or put down the other, but everyone needs to know and understand the roles they play in this world, and sure enough those roles will never be the same or equal.

I’m not the old-fashioned “a women’s place is in the kitchen” type, but when it’s dinner time and both our stomachs are growling I will be the first to stand up, when it’s 3am and the baby is crying I will be the first to jump out of bed, and when the grass needs trimming I’ll be the first to put my feet up and grab a magazine.

I hope that women will wise up and start demanding chivalry, something that was the norm once upon a time. Until then, men are going to get away with putting in the bare minimum and getting what they want.

It’s obvious that it’s the women that hold the cards and when they start acting like it, they will finally start getting dinner from places that don’t deliver.

Men, it’s okay to be old-fashioned; chivalry is still in demand and there’s absolutely nothing wrong in treating a woman like the lady she is.

Gentlemen are chivalrous and to be chivalrous is to be a gentleman. It’s an identity, not a matter to be discussed, because one is not gentleman by birth but by nature and action.

“Koketso Moselakgomo is a young woke African social activist”

Women have allowed men to get away with ‘hook-up culture’