Sex – How good are you?
Take our test to find out where your talents lie between the sheets.
A new iPhone app that promises to rate your performance in bed has just been released. Amazing, we thought – after all, doesn’t everyone worry about how they measure up between the sheets? But the app, which uses sound and motion sensors to rate its user’s performance, has been widely slated for its inaccuracy. Not so amazing, then. So, if you really want to know your strengths and weaknesses in bed, put down your phone, pick up a pen and take our test. This is not an ordinary quiz: expect an in-depth analysis of what type of person you are. A stands for Adventurous, C is for Connect, D is Dominate, G is a Giver and W is for Worry. Which one are you?
How often do you have sex?
C. A lot when I’m in a relationship W. I have no idea really – I can take it or leave it A. As often as possible D. Two to four times a week G. It depends on the sex drive of the man I’m in bed with
When you’re about to have sex, how do you usually get undressed?
G. I always follow his lead W. I always turn off the lights, get under the covers quickly, then take off my clothes A. I perform a striptease C. We slowly undress each other while we’re kissing D. We undress ourselves and then get down to it
Do you feel sexy?
C. Yes, when I’m in the moment G. Sometimes – and when I don’t, I try to fake it W. About as sexy as a big man in a pair of shorts D. Only when I’m in control A. I’msexonlegs What position are you most likely to do it in? W. Missionary A. Every time is different, but it’s unlikely to be just one. I like to try lots of different positions C. One where we can easily make eye contact D. Me on top G. Doggy style – men love that
How do you feel if your partner suggests you try something new?
D. Insulted W. Petrified A. Excited C. Intrigued G. Uncertain
What’s running through your mind while you’re having sex? W. ‘Do I look fat?’
A. Thoughts? Seriously? I’m too busy having the time of my life C. ‘I love feeling this close to him’ D. What my next move will be G. ‘Was his ex-girlfriend better at this than me?’
What noises are you making ?
A. Ask my neighbours W. A few muffled groans G. I’m usually asking, ‘Is that okay?’ C. Sporadic moans, depending what he’s doing at the time D. A crescendo – quiet at first, then building up until I come
What’s your priority?
A. Trying new things C. Emotional connection G. Him thinking I’m the best he’s had D. Having an orgasm W. Not doing anything embarrassing
You just had great sex… how do you know?
W. He seemed to enjoy it A. Multiple orgasms C. You got totally lost in the moment D. He did all the stuff I like G. He told me so
What is he most likely to say when it’s over? G. Thanks! W. Did you come?
A. Well, I’ve never done that before C. You’re great D . Wasthatokay?
How do you feel after sex?
D. Satisfied C. Close to your man W. Insecure A. Happy G. Shy
What happens next?
C. We cuddle W. I put on my pyjamas and get under the covers A. We get our breath back then gear up for round two G. I lay my head on his chest D. I jump in the shower Add up how many of each letter you’ve scored, then read on to see what behavioural psychologist and sex expert Donna Dawson has to say about your results. Mostly Gs – You’re a GIVER
What’s good: You prioritise his needs and always leave him satisfied, but then, what man doesn’t like the idea of having a girl fulfilling all of his desires?
What’s not so good: You may be sacrificing your pleasure for his. Maybe you tried to impress him with your selflessness, but if he thinks you’re always satisfied, sex will stay one-sided, and you’ll start to resent it.
Be better: If you also scored lots of As, then that’s great. But if you also scored Ws, you need to turn sex into a two-way street. Move his fingers to the right place, or just use the four words ‘harder, softer, faster, slower’. Mostly Ds – You DOMINATE What’s good: You know what you like, which is great for him as well as you – men love knowing they can hit the spot. What’s not so good: You know what works, so you’re apprehensive about new things, which means you’re not getting the spontaneity that makes sex fun.
Be better: What are you afraid of – doing something you’re uncomfortable with, or doing something that he enjoys more than you? If you also scored Ws, it’s the fear of the unknown that bothers you, so talk to him. Vary things before you get stuck in a rut – let him have a go at taking charge, and learn more about what he likes. Mostly As – You’re ADVENTUROUS
What’s good: You’re up for anything – most guys love a girl who enjoys an adventurous sex life. You’re not afraid to show you enjoy sex.
What’s not so good: Sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. If you like extreme adventure, you may be giving the impression of being easy, and this may make men value you less. The easier it is to get something, the less we appreciate it.
Be better: If you scored lots of Cs too, then you already have a good balance. But if you also scored a lot of Ds, you need to give yourself some time to get to know a man on an emotional level.
Mostly Cs – You CONNECT What’s good: It’s great that you’ve worked out that really good sex is about emotional connection. It’s what everyone aims for – even men.
What’s not so good: While it’s what they want eventually, men may get put off by the pressure of your emotional expectations
Be better: Be more open-minded. It’s great to associate romance with sex, and there’s nothing wrong with only sleeping with men you feel a connection with, but be more compassionate by communicating how you feel physically.
Mostly Ws – You WORRY What’s good: You never get lost in the moment, which means you’re the least likely to end up with the kind of man who’ll just use you for sex.
What’s not so good: Your lack of communication leaves men feeling unsure and insecure about what they’re doing.
Be better: Spend time masturbating – if you don’t know what you enjoy, he has no chance of working it out alone. You also need to accept that he’s there because he fancies you – when a man is aroused, he couldn’t care less about the size of your thighs or buttocks.