THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

if they feel they are in danger, so they can scream them out or tell a teacher.”

Bullying, at school or at home, is another problem to watch out for, as Buhle, 36, discovered. She thought nothing of it when her daughter kept saying that a classmate didn’t want to play with her. “She kept telling me about this girl who wouldn’t play with her at break. I brushed it off, saying: ‘Not everyone is meant to be your friend.’ But she kept losing her things at school and I’d shout at her. Eventually, she said the same girl had hidden her things. I met with the teacher and found out my child was being bullied.”

Childline offers the following signs that your child may be a victim of bullying: “They return from school with unexplained cuts and bruises; they change their normal route to or from school and are scared to walk there. Items of clothing and school books are torn and he or she may be hungry because lunch or lunch money has been stolen.” If your child is going to play outside or visit a friend next door, keep an eye on them. If they are at an age when they do play dates alone, without your supervision, ensure that you know the parents well. Don’t think that because they go to the same school as your child, they’re good people.

“Know where your children are at all times,” says Mohlala. “Check any arrangements involving your child and get to know their friends and parents. And check up on your child every so often. They’ll probably accuse you of not trusting them, but don’t be swayed by guilt. It’s not a case of not trusting your child’s integrity, but rather, not trusting their judgement. The judgement of a 13-year-old won’t be spot on. Give them age-appropriate trust and freedom.”

Van Rensburg says: “Preschool children (aged three to five) are inquisitive and focused on their own behaviour. They cannot understand the motivations of others and are easily fooled. At this age, a child should know their name, a parent’s name and, if they are capable, a parent’s cellphone number. For them, safety rules have to be explained more than once and can be reinforced by playing a ‘what if’ game where a child practises saying ‘No!’

“For example, the parent can ask: ‘What would you say if mom or dad is