Parenting – How safe is your child?
With the shocking stories about the sexual abuse of schoolchildren that have recently made headlines comes the need for parents to be ultra-vigilant when it comes to ensuring their children’s safety. South Africans were horrified to hear of the scholar patroller at an Orlando, Soweto school who was arrested for allegedly molesting 87 pupils. There’s also the case of the former Parktown Boys High assistant waterpolo coach, who is facing charges of having sexually assaulted more than 20 teenage boys.
These revelations beg the question: How can you be sure that your child is safe at school, as well as at home?
A recent study by the Children’s Institute at the University of Cape Town found that between 20% and 34% of South Africa’s children experience some form of contact violence before the age of 18. These numbers are unacceptably high and require parental oversight to ensure that children are kept well away from harm. Our experts offer ways for you to adopt to try to keep your child safe: Home is supposed to be a safe place for your child, and your circle of family and friends are supposed to be trustworthy, decent people. However, the sad reality is that it often isn’t the case.
Celeste-Mari van Rensburg, a clinical psychologist, explains that in many cases of child abuse, the perpetrator is known to the family. “Research has shown that children are more vulnerable to being hurt by someone they know than by a stranger. So, instead of focusing on stranger danger only, focus on overall safety. Conversations with your child about their safety should start when they’re little. Of course, you need to tailor your talk to the child’s age and personality.
“These discussions should be positive, open and reassuring for the child. You need to focus on talking calmly and adopting a problem-solving style.”
Sizakele, 41, a mother of one, keeps a journal in her house. She says it helps her son to express feelings or write about incidents he feels uncomfortable talking directly to her about. “We started this journal as a communication tool between us. I saw that he doesn’t like to talk about things that are bothering him. Or, maybe he is afraid of how I’ll react to what he