Man Oh Man – Skhumbuzo ‘Skhumba’ Hlophe
Some people are born funny, while some end up as comedians by sheer luck — the former definitely applies to SKHUMBUZO ‘SKHUMBA’ HLOPHE. We caught up with Mzansi’s unsparing comedian and the outcome was a mix of tear-jerking hilarity plus many lessons on s
This is your 11th year in comedy, when exactly did the comedy bug bite?
I was funny way before I knew I could make a career out of stand-up comedy. In high school, my school mates would gather around me to listen to me poke fun at someone during lunchtime. This once scored me free lunch for two months with a soccer star from our school. After teasing him really badly one day, he pulled me aside and requested that I never make fun of him again and in return, he’d buy me lunch. As someone whose pocket money was R2,20 – which I’d spend on a packet of cracked biscuits and Bibo juice – I jumped at this opportunity [chuckles]. The owner of Caprivi Lounge in Tembisa, Hlogi Makau was the first person to open my eyes to the possibility of a career in comedy. Then after witnessing Tol Ass Mo perform at Papa
Chillo in Tembisa, I knew comedy was something I could try my hand at. I’m so grateful to have discovered stand-up comedy when I did because it saved me from almost falling into the crime trap. Well, that and the fact that I’m scared of my mother!
You went in quite hard on Ntsiki Mazwai at The Roast of Somizi. When doing comedy, do you ever stop and wonder if you’re being mean?
When I agreed to be part of The Roast, I first asked the producers if the participants knew what the show entailed. For the record, none of the things I said were personal. The Roast, for me, was a make-orbreak moment — Somizi is a high profile celebrity so I treated the show as a huge stage, knowing that the entire continent would be watching. Also, comedy is my territory so I needed to come on stage guns blazing. For instance, Usain Bolt would never allow Tiger Woods to beat him on the tracks because that’s his speciality [chuckles]. I want my brand to someday be mentioned among
some of South Africa’s greatest names in comedy.
What’s your biggest strength as a comedian?
My failures and where I come from. I usually convert my failures into jokes. I never got the chance to attend a tertiary institution — I don’t know the difference between a semester and a module [chuckles]. I grew up in a township where criminal activities were romanticised. The only person who had a decent job and wore a tie to work was Bra Joe, who was a bank teller. There weren’t enough positive role models for me and my peers to aspire to. So, to come out of that and be on TV and radio and win awards is a big achievement for my community. It took a lot for me to get here — I had to learn to be comfortable with who I am and where I’m from. I’ve learnt that what makes people trust my brand is that I’m always my authentic self.
What grounds you and reminds you of the important things in life?
I want to stay true to who I am because someday when the chips are down, I want to still have people who will be happy and willing to cover my back. I love that, in Tembisa, no-one sees me as famous. I usually don’t talk much when I’m with my friends; instead I listen and laugh more because
they are that hilarious — and this is where I draw a lot of my inspiration for my comedy material. As part of my Walk This Way With Skhumba initiative, every year I organise the Skhumba and Friends comedy show and use the proceeds to buy wheelchairs for the underprivileged. We bought 160 wheelchairs in 2016, and 227 in 2017 then gave them out during August, which also happens to be my birthday month. This initiative always reminds me how fortunate I am.
What do you mostly wish for? Happiness and change. I look forward to the day when the stereotype that people from townships aren’t entitled to good things and that they should be grateful for whatever crumbs are dished their way will no longer exist. Talented people from townships first need to prove their worth before they are recognised. Just because we’re misunderstood doesn’t mean that we’re irrelevant. For years now, my attitude has been to advance myself. Whoever doesn’t see value in my talent will find me miles ahead.
Which celebrities would you want to be stuck on an island with and why? My wife knows that I love Nomzamo Mbatha and Nomuzi Mabena so much that I wouldn’t trust myself if I were ever stuck in a lift with them. I respect their relationships but if I were ever deserted on an island with just the two of them, I’d marry them both. But there’s one condition to all of this — if Jessica Motaung ever called during our quality time, they would have to make peace with me neglecting them for Miss Motaung [chuckles].
What’s the one piece of advice you wish you’d known at the beginning of your comedy career? That people would sign me up to perform, make big bucks from my talent and pay me peanuts in return. I’d hear stories of people including my name in their presentations without my knowledge. I struggled with knowing my worth for the longest time — at some point, I remember Toll Ass Mo and I getting paid R750 to share for a gig we’d done together. There’s, unfortunately, no induction in creative careers. All these incidents have taught me to always name my price upfront and that the only person I can trust with my career is myself.
What’s next for Skhumba? I have a new tour titled I Mean Bizniss coming up from September 2018, and I intend to take it to every province. The tour was inspired by how no-one ever takes me seriously. As part of the tour, I’m also planning two big weekend shows at Carnival City on the 14th and 15th of December. I don’t mean to blow my own horn but I was the first South African comedian to fill up 3 800 seats at Carnival City in 2017 but this time around, I plan to make history by filling up the venue’s full capacity of 5 000 over two days.
Who are your all-time favourite comedians? Firstly, Eugene Khoza, whom I miss dearly on the local comedy scene. Internationally, it’s Bernie Mac and Patrice O’Neal, who are both late.