OVERCOMING OUR FEARS

Investigate what you’re really afraid of

There are only three things that cement people into their world of negativity. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of loss, says Paul Birnie, an author and manifestation coach. For most people, decisions are made based on these fears, he says. “A woman can stay with a man who beats her up because she’s afraid of not being loved, or a fear that she’s not good enough,” he explains.

Lean into the fear

While the prevailing notion is that you should fake it till you make it, Birnie says this solution does not always work. “If you’re scared, you can’t suddenly not be scared. It’s a feeling, and it’s raw and powerful,” Birnie explains. Instead of trying to talk yourself out of fear, the best thing to do is to feel the fear, release it and move on. It’s only when we breakthrough a feeling that limits our growth that we can move on to better things. Feinstein says often, before people have a breakthrough, they need to have a breakdown. “Most people don’t want to do anything that’s going to be breakthrough-oriented because they’re fighting against what seems to be a permeant breakdown, and it never is,” he says.

Keep a journal

Journaling is different to writing in a diary. A diary is a record of events, while a journal is more self-reflective. “Over time, you start to identify patterns of thoughts or beliefs that are not serving you,” Feinstein says. And remember, in the words of South African poet Koleka Putuma, “You owe your dreams your courage.”