It’s all about love
Nyan’Nyan host Luyanda Potwana shares tips on rekindling the flame in a fading romance and acing that first date.
Nyan’Nyan Season 6 Tuesdays SABC1 (*191) 18:00
Luyanda Potwana’s hosting job on relationship advice show Nyan’Nyan (2013- current) gives him the inside scoop on keeping your dating life on fire. By travelling around the country and helping couples, the 35-year-old has learnt what to say and do, as well as what to avoid to get that romance back on track. “Nyan’Nyan has taught me a lot about working out matters of the heart,” admits Luyanda. “I get to witness couples reveal secrets, work through their issues and try rekindle their love after disclosing their darkest confessions.” And now Luyanda is ready to share his relationship learnings… You must’ve seen and heard every confession imaginable over the last five years on Nyan’Nyan. Very much so. [Laughs] Confessions are a must in every relationship! Although telling the truth doesn’t always guarantee that you will be forgiven, it is a great start to get a secret off your chest. Coming clean is a way to continue the union on a clean slate and without the past holding you back. What is a “healthy” relationship to you? One that is based on respect, honesty and support. Any relationship works when two people don’t perceive each other as threats – it really is that easy. This kind of relationship is made possible by effective communication, where the two participants listen to each other and view each other as important in their relationship. What’s the best way to rekindle a relationship after a disagreement? It’s not about who is right or wrong. In the end, you are both working to strengthen your bond, so sometimes one of you should apologise even when you aren’t necessarily at fault. How do you personally vent frustrations in a relationship? I’m naturally an outspoken person, so rather than speaking out of turn and regretting it later, I sulk. [Laughs] I minimise contact with the other person and I get into my feelings until I am ready to talk about what’s bothering me. What is the most romantic thing you’ve done? While I was a soapie extra in 2012 and earning very little, I saved up to buy my then-girlfriend an engagement ring. I invited our friends to my apartment for lunch and I got down on one knee and proposed – no one expected it. We didn’t walk down the aisle in the end, but I sacrificed to make that moment special for her. Dating isn’t always easy – do you have a fail-proof rule for the first date? Simple: always tell the truth. First impressions count and there’s nothing worse than someone who is interested in you picking up a lie on the first date – it’s not a good look. What do you always want to know by the end of the first date? I’ll ask: what do you hate about yourself? I get to catch the person offguard and I get to learn about their insecurities or weakness in what they think is their worst trait. Despite being “the relationship guru”, have you had any cringeworthy dates? Most definitely! [Laughs] As cliché as this might sound, I didn’t have money in my bank account, so my date had to foot the bill. I was getting paid at lunchtime but the money didn’t reflect in my account, so I couldn’t use my bankcard. It was beyond embarrassing as the lunch date was my idea and she also had to refill my car with petrol. I couldn’t pay her back with another date because that was the last time that I spoke to her. [Laughs]