Man of the house
Musa Mseleku talks life, loves, multiple wives and how he has made a polygamous marriage work in Uthando Nes’thembu.
Uthando Nes’thembu Season 2 Thursdays Mzansi Magic (*161) 20:00
Reality show Uthando Nes’thembu (2017- current) is the lovechild of author Musa Mseleku, who wanted to expand on his 2013 autobiography Impilo Nesithembu (which in English means Life In Polygamy). Although his book had been on shelf for four years, the business entrepreneur met with Mzansi Magic producers in 2017 to tell an updated version of his role as a husband to multiple wives. “And it was approved two weeks later,” says the lead star. Musa claims that the easy part was out of the way and selling the reality-TV idea to his four strong-willed wives – MaCele, MaYeni, MaKhumalo and MaNgwabe – was the tricky part. “Naturally, they were sceptical,” reveals Musa. “Polygamy is still a controversial subject and my wives feared public scrutiny. I assured them that the show wasn’t just about drama and becoming famous. I wanted to break stereotypes and teach people that polygamous marriages can be a success, like ours.” With season 2 wrapping on Thursday 5 April, Musa reveals that he’s still learning about polygamy, he’s more in love than ever and that drama is essential.
A WOMAN’S WORLD
“Having camera crews in ‘our space’ and home took a bit of getting used to,” explains Musa. Besides having the production team taking up space in their house, the “stars” also had to get used to being followed around. “By this second season, I think we are a bit more used to them now and from the start, I advised my wives to just be real and show their personalities,” says Musa. And his four wives have been central figures since episode 1, with their emotions and candidness taking centre stage. “That is exactly what a polygamous marriage is about! As their husband, I ‘allow’ my wives to be themselves at all times. A successful polygamous marriage is about taking diverse ideas and opinions into consideration. My wives are intelligent and although we might get into disputes, I always encourage them to oppose my views,” he explains.
TROUBLE & WIFE STRIFE
As entertaining and enlightening as season 1 was, season 2 stole headlines for another reason in early Feb 2018 when Musa’s second wife MaYeni jokingly asked for a divorce – except Musa didn’t know that it was a joke. “It came as a shock as I thought our marriage
was going smoothly when she dropped the bomb on us,” laughs the reality star. But the prank wasn’t in vain and Musa says that in the end, it’s brought them closer. “I love my wives equally and I wouldn’t want to lose any one of them. After the stunt, each of my wives realised that they all mean a lot to me and I would be devastated if even one packed her bags and left.”
THICKER THAN WATER
The seconds season also helped Musa redefine his views on masculinity. “I’ve lost my ‘manly power’ to my wives,” he laughs. “In order to make our marriage work, I’m always the first to apologise and I take the blame when anything goes wrong. Even if it’s not my doing.” Plus, Uthando Nes’thembu has assisted him become a better husband. “This show has taught me that I function better with my wives and as a family unit. I think that we value our marriage and children a little more now that we have been given this viewpoint. I’m blessed to be married to my best friends.”
DOTING DAD
Musa also learnt that his 10 kids crave his affection and attention as a handson dad. “They’re still young and I want them to grow up knowing that we love them and that we build a strong bond with them.” Musa adds that he’s learnt to spread his time wisely across his four wives, their children and his business. “My family matters most. I want them to not only know that, but feel it.”