Father figures
One father disowns and threatens to beat Zithulele, the other offers protection and a home.
These days, pastor Phakade (Sandile Dlamini) is just barely able to keep his mouth shut about his family’s huge secret: that he fathered his brother Ngcolosi’s (Mpumelelo Bhulose) chil-dren. But when Phakade’s “nephew” Zithulele (Raphael Griffiths) turns to him for help after Ngcolosi disowns him on Tuesday 24 July, the father in Phakade rises up. In Phakade’s eyes, according to Sandile, “Zithulele can’t be like his brother Nganono (Xolani Mfeka), who goes with whatever the dad says. ‘Do this, do that, come here, go there!’ He needs to assert himself. Phakade views Zithulele as a loving, caring young man. He’s more like his biological father.” But the unacknowledged battle between Zithulele’s two fathers becomes more heated on Thursday 26 July when Ngcolosi threatens to beat Zithulele with a sjambok in Phakade’s house.
A FATHER’S LOVE
“Phakade feels honoured that his son is coming to him for help. But he knows that if he shows too much love, this connection will grow in Zithulele and he will want to be with Phakade more, which would cause problems for the entire family. Phakade is at the centre of everything and he is conflicted. He’s Zithulele’s biological dad and it was only for his brother that he and sister-in-law MaZulu (Leleti Khumalo) had these kids,” says Sandile.
DON’T TOUCH HIM
Phakade steps in swiftly when Ngcolosi physically threatens Zithulele on Thursday 27 July. “Things get intense. It’s the wrong thing to do and now he is doing it in Phakade’s house, right in front of him. As a Zulu traditional man, Phakade knows that in their family, Ngcolosi’s children belong to Phakade too. That is how they grew up. So Phakade also has rights, because the children are for the family, not just for Ngcolosi.” But traditional manners aren’t the only thing that has been crossed. “Ngcolosi doesn’t know that he is threatening Phakade’s biological child. Phakade can’t tell him, ‘This is my son.’ And as a pastor and as Ngcolosi’s elder brother, he feels that Ngcolosi is too harsh. Phakade has never beaten his children. You can’t just come with a sjambok to your child. If Ngcolosi hurts Zithulele and pushes him away, he will stay with Phakade,” explains Sandile.
A FATHER’S SHIELD
Things turn physical on Thursday 26 July when Ngcolosi takes Phakade’s actions as a challenge to his authority. “Eish, Ngcolosi feels like he has got control wherever he goes. He thinks that he is The Man. The Big Guy,” says Sandile. “So when you try to talk him down, he feels like you are overstepping him and he feels that he needs to show that ‘ this is my son, this is my subject. I can do anything’. When he refuses to listen, Phakade is forced to physically try to block Ncgolosi, but only block, not engage in a fist fight,” says Sandile. “Phakade feels bad about it. He is sad and angry. Especially as Ngcolosi is his younger brother. When Phakade says stop, Ngcolosi needs to stop.” The person that Ngcolosi should look out for is his wife MaZulu, who lashes him with the rough side of her tongue on Tuesday 31 July – until Ngcolosi collapses in front of her!
IN MY LIFE
“The set up of Phakade is familiar from my own life,” explains Sandile. “My father was a pastor. He used to help people and preach to people and love his other brother’s kids. We used to stay in the house with his brother’s kids. Maybe we are 20, 30 kids, all the time. We were never like this isolated family with just seven kids and Mom and Dad. People were always coming to our house, sharing everything. That is how I grew up. Even now, that’s what I am doing in my private life, in my work with the community.”