ABANDONED
HOW PHUMEZA MDABE IS REUNITING FAMILIES WITH EMPATHY AND CARE
Season 1 Tuesdays Mzansi Magic (*161) 20:00
It takes more than a name and location to track down a long-lost family member on new Mzansi Magic reality show Abandoned, which started quietly in January this year. Much of searching for a loved one involves the courage to approach that individual after finding them. And that’s where the show and its host come in. With the assistance of private investigators and researchers, Phumeza Mdabe (Marcia in drama series Unmarried, 2018-now) connects people, who’re referred to as “the abandoned”, with their biological parents. That’s not all though…
“What makes the show stand out is that I sit with the sought parent and discuss their reasons for leaving their [now-adult] child prior to the reunion,” explains Phumeza. In other words, the parent isn’t met with a random knock on the door from the child that they had abandoned years ago without a warning. “I sit with the parents and ask if they’d like to reunite with ‘the abandoned’. They can either agree or decline. If the parent isn’t ready to face the child, they can record a video message excusing themselves from the meeting,” says the 33-year-old host, adding that “the aim of Abandoned is to foster the spirit of reconciliation between a parent and child. Barging into [the parent’s] home isn’t in line with the show. We need to feel welcomed into the parent’s home so that there’s a better chance of an amicable reunion.”
FEELING AT HOME
The show’s hope is for “the abandoned” to walk away from the episode with the much-needed clarity and closure about their parent’s disappearance. “There are so many take-aways from presenting Abandoned,” says Phumeza. The most prominent is having empathy for her guests. “I’ve learnt that giving a child up for adoption is sometimes an act of love. It’s far more complex than what meets the eye. A boy who is struggling with substance abuse, for example, might be eaten away by their need to fill the void that comes with splitting from their parent,” explains the host.
For Phumeza, presenting the reality show was a no-brainer, having her own experience of abandonment after her biological father denied her at birth. “I wanted to join the show as it resonated with me. I wouldn’t have missed this chance (to host the show) for anything,” says Phumeza. “I was contacted for an audition where I was given a case study of a story that would have been on the show. In the mock interview, I spoke to ‘the abandoned’ searching for their parent, and I also tried to persuade the parent to meet their child. I was thrilled when I received a call that I got the job. In essence, Abandoned tells real stories that speak to the heart.”
LEAVING NO STONE UNTURNED
Extensive groundwork goes into hosting a show like Abandoned. “From the time that we receive a request to find a parent, we verify all the details. Typically, that is the hardest aspect of the process because ‘the abandoned’ don’t always use the names that appear in their identity books,” explains Phumeza. Their names might have changed after they were separated from their parent.
The search is conducted by various private investigation companies that work with the production team. “It’s a gruelling process that can take anything from three weeks to 18 months. The work is never done. There are so many parents that we are still searching for and are yet to find,” explains the host.
HEARTFELT & RELATABLE
Phumeza reveals that her favourite moment from the first season is more “moments” – when the parent and their child are brought together. “Hosting the show can be stressful, because I get attached to some of the stories,” explains Phumeza. “There were many instances while filming where I got emotional. It’s inevitable for me to be touched as these are real-life journeys that make watching the show special.”