I’m wor­ried my daugh­ter’s choice in baby names may af­fect my grand­child’s fu­ture

Weekend Argus (Saturday Edition) - - NEWS - JANET EL­LIS

Q. My daugh­ter is about to have her first child. We’re all hugely ex­cited, and my hus­band and I have spent plenty of time help­ing her and her hus­band get the nurs­ery ready.

They’ve re­cently found out they’re hav­ing a girl and the con­ver­sa­tion has, of course, turned to names.

I’m very con­cerned about the ones they’re sug­gest­ing: the most wor­ry­ing in­clude Pixie-Rose and Prim­rose Bean.

Cutesy names may suit a baby, but what about when they grow up and start school? And later, when they have a ca­reer? I’m wor­ried they won’t be taken se­ri­ously. I’ve tried to sug­gest more sen­si­ble names but been told I’m be­ing old-fash­ioned. What shall I do? FIRST of all: con­grat­u­la­tions! It’s so lovely you’ll soon be a grand­mother – I can hugely rec­om­mend it.

And your daugh­ter is lucky to have you so close and so help­ful.

I’m sure you’re happy enough to use the paint your daugh­ter’s cho­sen and ad­vise about the best sort of cot. You sound as though you’ll be a pretty good babysit­ter – and more.

But there are some things you re­ally can’t get in­volved with, be­yond a sim­ple: “Oh, re­ally? How nice”. And names are high on that list.

Ac­tu­ally, my taste in names has changed, not just over my life­time – my pref­er­ences even shifted over the time that I was hav­ing my chil­dren.

I’m sure you can think of names you loved when you were a child al­ways find things to tease one an­other about.

And a glance down any con­tem­po­rary school reg­is­ter will re­veal some amaz­ing names!

In some ways, I sus­pect your re­ac­tion to this is­sue is based on want­ing to be ul­tra-in­volved. Noth­ing wrong with that, but know­ing when to step back is some­thing we grand­moth­ers have to learn very early on.

You’ll be an in­valu­able source of ad­vice, sup­port and love, but while you can give sup­port and love unasked, you do have to wait to give ad­vice.

Within mo­ments of your grand­child’s birth, her name will seem just as lovely as ev­ery­thing else about her.

In fact, the only name you should re­ally be think­ing about now is what your grand­chil­dren are go­ing to call you.

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