One thing Brexit can’t change for Brits’ coolest cat

THE fallout from Brexit is settling over Britain, but also across the rest of the world. How it is going to turn out not even the cleverest of clevers knows. What does seem to be emerging is that the UK economy could well take a dip as investors shy away from the wet, green island and look to go where they have a better “in” to Europe.

British brands could also take a bit of a pounding (ha ha).

One of the first British brand icons to make a statement about the impact of Brexit was the Jaguar-Land Rover Group, which estimated its profits could drop by more than £ 1 billion ( R19bn) because of the UK’s withdrawal from EU economic arrangements.

The group’s brands – Jaguar and Land Rover – are quintessentially British automotive products, although they are now owned by Indian giant Tata, whose financial muscle has given the company a new lease of life.

A benefit for South African fans of Jaguar and Land Rover will be the decline of the pound in currency exchange terms, making the vehicles cheaper here.

And, like all successful brands, Jaguar and Land Rover continue to market strongly: even in tough and uncertain times, history has shown, those who succeed don’t cut down on marketing.

It’s good to see the company here bringing in new products and advertising them.

Of course, Brexit may well devalue that (somewhat mythical) perception of England being synonymous with quality, but that may take some time. Meanwhile, Jaguar and Land Rover can trade on their unique British- ness. With both brands, this quality and unique image are portrayed effectively yet simply.

The latest print ad for the new Jaguar F-Pace, the marque’s first SUV, is full of that understated elegance you have come to expect from anything associated with the Union Jack (Wayne Rooney and Co excluded, though).

The headline says: Above all, it’s a Jaguar.

It’s classic and says so much with so little. In that short sentence, you know this is not just a good car, it is a great car – because it is a Jaguar.

Great line. And, because of that, an Orchid to Jaguar.

I should have been rolling my eyeballs at the cheesy collection of hunky, muscular alpha males arrayed in the latest TV commercial (foreign-made, I see) for Nivea for Men. But somehow it works…

You see them doing all sorts of masculine things and then hitting the locker room – to find skin-care products in pink. We are men – they seem to be saying as they look at each other in that solid way that real men do.

Then the Nivea Men appears. Something a hot-blooded, testosterone-fuelled boy can use and not feel embarrassed.

Then comes the little box at the end saying: Nivea is an official supplier to Real Madrid. And guess what? Cristiano Ronaldo, that mobile male mannequin (and reasonably talented footballer to boot), plays for Real Madrid. And he fits right in with the new world of the metrosexual male.

However, men these days are starting to take better care of themselves, even if they don’t quite yet occupy the majority of the space in the marital medicine cabinet. And blue works for boys – in so many ways. So the ad works – and gets an Orchid from me.

All I have to do now is remember to use the Nivea Men that has been sitting in our bathroom for months…

Funny how the Joburg municipality and its mayor, Parks Tau, have been boasting about how amazing the “World-Class African City” is – how many awards its officials have collected overseas, how much water has been delivered to residents, etc etc. A bit like political campaigning using public money? Could there be an election just around the corner?

I don’t have a problem with the ads as such, but like all high-flown and virtually unattainable marketing aims and statements, Joburg’s claim to be world class is somewhat let down by the reality.

That reality, this week, was a report in The Star saying the municipal call centre – the major contact point for ratepayers and citizens – had been down for six days. World class? If your world is inhabited by creatures visited by a girl called Alice, maybe…

Otherwise, when your delivery is at such odds with your marketing messages and you do nothing about it, you are wasting your (sorry, our) money and you get an Onion.