ON THE COUCH

Weekend Argus (Saturday Edition) - - NEWS -

age, but I’m guess­ing he was young, too), and although he be­haved badly, he must have had his rea­sons. The fact he’s con­tact­ing you sug­gests those rea­sons were to do with him, not you.

It also sug­gests he wants to per­suade you he’s changed – for the bet­ter in many ways, hope­fully – but in one very sig­nif­i­cant way, he’s stayed the same: he still has feel­ings for you.

If you’d de­cided, or re­alised, his call­ing off the wed­ding at the 11th hour was the lat­est in a cat­a­logue of bad be­hav­iour and if you never saw him again it would be too soon, then this would be cut and dried.

You wouldn’t have been ask­ing for ad­vice. You’d file his letter un­der fin­ished busi­ness. But there’s ob­vi­ously a cor­ner of your heart where a flame still burns for him.

I’m re­lieved he didn’t con­tact you straight af­ter your hus­band’s sad death. And although there’s no time limit on th­ese things, no one could say there hasn’t been a de­cent in­ter­val since.

As it’s mu­tual friends who helped in all this, you have to be­lieve they think well of him. You’re older and wiser, so you’ll be able to tell if he’s been a se­rial heart­breaker in the in­ter­ven­ing years.

Don’t ex­pect too much and don’t in­vest too much of your­self, ei­ther. It may not be for­ever, but it might be fun.

In some ways, you’d be start­ing again. You might have lost the fire­works and pas­sion of youth, but that’s no bad thing. It must have taken courage to get in touch with you, too, be­cause quite apart from how you felt about be­ing jilted, plenty of your friends and fam­ily will re­mem­ber it only too well. They might take some per­suad­ing he should come back into your life, but they’ll also be look­ing out for you.

He has a lot of ex­plain­ing to do, and you’re right to be cau­tious. But the fact you’re even con­sid­er­ing it is a tes­ta­ment to your faith in love and your will­ing­ness to be­lieve there’s good in peo­ple.

One les­son of your long and happy mar­riage is that be­ing part of a cou­ple suits you. If you have shared in­ter­ests and out­look, you may yet find com­pan­ion­ship with him. – Daily Mail

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