‘Ice-cream’ headache is worth it for a decent wave

DECISIONS. Decisions. Do I paddle out, or wuss out?

This oft-asked question is peculiar to any surfer parked on a cliff top looking down on mediocre surf, trying to make up his mind. Should I stay or should I go now? That was the line from the Clash on their album Combat Rock in 1982.

There’s always the chance that the indecision comes from the early onset of old-age absent-mindedness. And yet the sea looks clean and has a glassy look to it. Nice conditions. A few lines crease the surface, but they’re disparate and unruly, as though broken up by wind on their passage from storm to shore.

The surf spot sputters. It flatters to deceive at such a distance from the watching surfer. Then, a shimmering pipe curls across the reef, and dumps its load of spitting white foam. Little dots sit among the shifting bumps. But no-one seems to be catching anything.

A few minutes go by. A dot moves towards an oncoming shape. For a moment the dot hangs transfixed at the top. The shape curls. The little dot freefalls into foam.

The low tide is making the rocky ledge mighty shallow, the surfer thinks.

After this scenario repeats itself several times, he sort of decides. Nope, don’t think this is going to be worth it. For a start, I have to drive along the road and down to the boom gate, pay my R13 at the office, drive along another road and eventually park by the marker stones. Then I have to get the boards off the roof, wriggle into my wetsuit and put on the sunscreen and booties, before walking 400 metres over dry rocks and another 30 metres across slippery, kelp-covered rocks.

After all that, I have to paddle half a kilometre out to sea through thick fields of kelp that drag and pull at you like sirens and sea sprites spitefully slowing your bid to commune with the undulating wave forms that await.

The water is of course cold after all the southeasters, and you’ll take a few thumping loads of icy water on the head as you cross the first ledge of granite on your paddle to the backline.

After this irksome tedium, and the ice-cream headache you might have once you finally sit on your board out there, the waves may not actually be worth it.

Nope, says the surfer, I’m aborting this mission. So he fires up the engine of his car, and begins cruising along the road, irritable now because a long drive home wastefully awaits. He’s in that frustrating void somewhere between nothing and something.

He keeps looking back tentatively at the spot, just to make sure. At one point, he almost drives into the side of the mountain.

And then, just as he’s about to finally turn away, he sees a wave unfold and reel down the reef. Hey hey! There’s potential. So, living up to the proud and fickle tradition of human frailty so gloriously proven over thousands of years of evolution, he changes his mind. Sound familiar?

Paddling out into the surf, the sun glints off the sea as a perfect barrel cracks along the reef. A few intrepid explorers have congregated randomly. He knows them, and friendly bonhomie rules as they trade waves. The water is crisply cold, but refreshing. The waves are not good, but fun.

As a friend said, you never regret a swim ... or a surf.

I remember a bumper sticker that said, “A Bad Day at the Beach is Better than a Good Day at the Office”. That wacky speciality surfing event the Rolling Retro has been postponed twice in the past month due to big swell and unfavourable weather, with the new date set for next week Saturday 25 March at Llandudno. The forecasts look better this time. See www.rollingretro.co.za

The professional surfing season has kicked off with the Quik Pro Gold Coast and Roxy Pro Gold Coast underway on the east coast of Australia. Just one South African, Jordy Smith, is there to represent South Africa. He made it through to Round 4 in clean 3-5’ surf at Snapper Rocks.

A solid 6-8’ groundswell runs on the western Peninsula at powerful 15 second intervals. Sets should increase to 10 feet by afternoon.

The winds, however, will pump a neargale SSE, so surf early when the breeze is light NW becoming light SW or S for a few hours. Muizenberg is 2-3’ and fun, but surf early. It will be a mess later. Tomorrow the wind strong but straight SE, which opens certain beachbreak options. Solid 6-8’ sets are easing. Muizenberg torn up by onshores.