Weaning teens from the Matrix

Parents have to deal with the consequences of social media

MY SON, now halfway through his eighth-grade year, does not appear to have the slightest whiff of a care about social media, and until about two weeks ago I did not realise the severity of this problem.

Newly 14, my son is attached to his phone on a seemingly molecular level, but he has no Facebook account, no Twitter, no Snapchat, no social media presence to speak of (at least outside the world of Minecraft, where, I am told, he exists as a shipbuilding contractor of some repute). He does have an Instagram account, but that’s because we made him get one last summer, as part of a slick plan to force him to keep in touch during an overseas exchange programme.

For two weeks he obliged us with photos of castles and classmates and cheese, but since his return he’s posted approximately one picture, which was not of any of those things. To be fair, he’s a very young 14 year old. He hasn’t yet been fully bowled over by adolescence, and he would much rather participate in neighborhood Nerf wars or lunch-table video-game battles than interact online.

He’s shy, but not so shy that he avoids karaoke (which I would have feigned a stroke to avoid at his age), outgoing but not so much that he craves visibility. He babysits his brother, finishes most of his schoolwork, practises karate, goes to birthday parties, brushes twice a day, doesn’t look directly at eclipses, hangs with his goofy little tribe.

From what I consider to be a reasonable (though certainly not entirely lit) vantage point, most components appear to be in place, and it’s possible that the gross, sticky tentacles of social media simply haven’t attached to him yet.

For my wife and me, that’s fine, bordering on glorious; if we had to rank all the things we’re excited to deal with from a male teenager, The Hideous Labyrinthine Terror of Formative Years with Social Media is near dead last, right under Researching Tuition and Explaining Who Stormy Daniels Is. Yet when I mention this mysterious void to people, his seeming disinterest, I get a sort of head-cocked curiosity and a response on the order of, “is that okay, does that affect his social life?” And I never have a good answer for this except, um, I think it helps him have one. I’m an expert on neither social media nor the social interactions, but I do know this: I do not consider this a problem. And that feeling is very, very difficult to maintain, as people keep loudly proclaiming that it’s clearly a large and serious problem.

Now, this isn’t to say that we’re better for any of this, or to curse parents whose kids maintain a handful of handles; if social media works for you and your family, fantastic.

Much has been written about how the current generation of kids is the first to deal with growing up in this Matrix. We are party to it and charged to guide it, but basically powerless to do much but observe. And that is beyond daunting. – Washington Post

RABIES RINGWORM